So I’m slowly starting my return to life after the horrible events that transpired at my bridal shower. It’s been a difficult 5 weeks and I don’t imagine the pain to go away for quite some time, but Chris and I have developed a new daily routine which is definitely helping us cope. We’re giving lots of love and attention to our remaining pets- Moose the labradoodle and George the cat, spending a lot of time talking about what we’ve been through, and finding ways to honor our Daisy while also moving forward and healing.

And this weekend I’m finally getting excited about something- bachelorette party #1. My friends are working their hardest to pull together a bash of epic proportions and doing everything they can to lift my spirits. Thus far- mission accomplished and the party hasn’t even begun. I’m stoked because the night starts with dinner at one of my favorite places in Columbus, Martini’s, followed by drinks at random bars around the Short North, and ending the night with the amazing PUMPS Cabaret Drag Show at Axis, and a hotel room downtown. All in all- the perfect evening spent with some of the most incredibly ladies I’m so grateful and blessed to call my friends. To prepare, I bought a killer dress to accentuate my 12 lb. weight loss, I found some amazing accessories and shoes, and have planned out my hair and makeup for the night. Here’s the dress-

I’ll try to post a respectable photo of all of us (if there even IS one at the end of the night) sometime next week after I recover.

It’s gonna be a helluva night. And if you’re a fellow Columbus-ite in the Short North on Saturday- I apologize ahead of time. But for once, I feel that I’ve earned this privilege to stumble from bar to bar and celebrate that I’m going to be married to the most incredible person I’ve ever known. For all the shit I’ve gone through lately, I’m still unbelievably grateful for that.

How do I even begin?

The weekend I’ve been looking forward to for months, ended as a weekend I wish I could completely erase from my memory. Chris and I drove home to Buffalo on Friday the 23rd for my bridal showers. Friday night, Chris went to his parent’s house, taking our dogs with him, so that I could spend time with my bridesmaids and family that were in town at my mother’s house. Friday night was a blast- we drank wine and laughed and I looked forward to continuing the celebration throughout the weekend at my 2 bridal showers and engagement photos with our pups.

What happened Saturday morning still makes my heart stop just thinking about it. Our little pug, Daisy, got into some chocolate Friday night. She seemed fine because it was just some M&Ms. She was so pleased with herself, rolling on her back showing everyone her belly, like she was saying- “HAHA I got em!” She didn’t eat that much, so Chris walked her and she went to the bathroom like normal. Then he put her to bed.

Sometime during the night, Daisy deteriorated. She had a terrible reaction- we’re not sure why- because there was no way she ate enough chocolate for it to be toxic. By morning, my sweet girl was very sick. She couldn’t walk. She had thrown up everywhere. My future sister in law (a vet student) and Chris rushed her immediately to the vet and on the short ride there, Daisy stopped breathing. But she fought and came back to us. But then it happened again and once again she fought. They got her into the vet and he worked on her and worked on her trying to get her to come around. But it was too late. She was gone.

Chris drove to my mothers house to break the news in which I sobbed and sobbed for hours. I petted her fur and held her little body wrapped in a blanket and told her how much I loved her, how much she meant to me, what a sweet girl she was, how sorry I was. Chris and I just sat there and cried. Then instead of going to get a mani/pedi with my bridesmaid, I had to say goodbye to my beloved pug, my sweet, precious wonderful Daisy and take her to be cremated.

My bridal showers were a blur. And though they were lovely and I’m so grateful for my family and friends who helped get me through the worst weekend of my life, I can’t help but sit here and think about Daisy.

I’ve been told if you write down your favorite things it can help the pain go away. So I feel like I need to do this so I can start to heal- though I don’t anticipate that actually happening for quite some time. But here are my favorite things about this wonderful little dog who graced my life and made me smile every day.

1. She was the cutest pug I’ve ever seen. I spent so many nights cuddled with her on the couch, petting her little velveteen ears or unwrapping and re-wrapping her curly tail.
2. Her weird toe that curled under and I had to take extra precaution to cut so that it didn’t grow into her foot pad and hurt her.
3. The way she’d chomp down her entire bowl of food in 20 seconds and then try to steal my other dog’s food.
4. Her inside howl. Not a bark- but an actual soft little howl. Mostly signaling that she wanted some attention. God I miss that.
5. You’d ask her if she was hungry or wanted food or a treat and she’d tilt her head so far to one side that you couldn’t help but laugh. Then she’d run to the pantry door barking and barking because she loved her food.
6. No matter how bad she could be or how stubborn, you couldn’t help but smile every time you looked at her because she was always so happy and goofy. She’d do something so silly that you couldn’t help but pick her up and hug her.
7. She loved baths and I’d massage the shampoo into her fur and she’d close her eyes like she was relaxing at a doggy spa.
8. Dancing to the song “That’s Not My Name” by the Ting Tings and imposing Dais – in place of name. So we’d jump around the house with her and dance with her singing “that’s not my dais.”
9. Propping her up to sit on her butt like a person and calling her, our fat little man. Or walking her on her harness and lifting it a little so she walked on her back legs for a few seconds like she was a person. She was so expressive it almost seemed like she was a person.
10. When you’d walk right up to her, she’d immediately just collapse to the floor and roll over. She wanted her belly rubbed and we’d always oblige.
11. The way she demanded attention. If she wanted on your lap, damnit she’d sit there. She had no concept of boundaries, which I joked about often, so she’d climb all over you and try to lick your face. You push her off, she just got right back up.
12. We got her as an 8 week old, 3 lb. puppy and we’d hold her in the palm of our hand.

There are probably thousands more that I could think of, but I’m already sad enough. My heart aches and thus far the pain has not subsided. Our house is so quiet. Our other pets are so sad. I got all these beautiful presents for my shower and I’m so grateful for them, but I’d give every one of them back just to have my Daisy give me kisses again.

The vets don’t think it was the chocolate. There are a few things that could have happened but nothing conclusive and we’ll never know. She’s just gone. It happened quickly, we think, we hope. I can’t bear to think of my little girl suffering. She fought so hard to stay with us and we loved her so much.

Chris and I refused to leave Buffalo without her, so we brought her back home- where she belonged.  We’ve hand-painted her an urn covered in daisies so she can sit on the mantel in the living room. She always wanted to be where we were, so that is where she’ll stay. My Daisy was the best one.

RIP My Sweet Puggy Princess, Daisy.
August 26, 2007 – July 24, 2010
You were our first family member and will always be loved and missed.

This weekend is my bridal shower. Well actually there’s 2. We had so many people want to celebrate that we had to have 2 separate showers! It’s gonna be a crazy weekend. My bridesmaids are all going to be there- which is the first time they all get to meet one another. I’m so excited to see all of them. I’m so grateful to have the most wonderful friends. Marissa, Miranda, Julie and Angela- thank you so much for being there for me through it all. Sometimes, when I get stressed out, I lose sight of how lucky I am to have all these wonderful people in my life.

The first shower will be on Saturday, held at my mother’s house and hosted by my sister and Matron of Honor, Julie. It’s a “The Big Apple” theme. My only request was apple martinis! Tasty. The second shower is being held at a winery in Niagara, hosted by my future Mother and Sister in Laws. We will be doing a wine tasting!

We will also be having our engagement photos done this weekend. I can’t wait to meet our photographer, finally! I feel like we know each other already from the past year of talking on Facebook and helping her with some SEO on her blog.

I can’t wait to come back and post some pictures! Have a wonderful weekend everyone!

No, I’m not talking about the political affiliation. I’m talking about being smart and environmentally friendly while you get showered with love (and presents!) during the many wedding celebrations in your name! Whether it’s your bridal shower, bachelorette, or wedding a great thing to do is go green wherever you can. With all the tragedy happening with the environment and around the world lately, simple things can make a big difference.

Going green is huge trend right now and there are many great fun ways to incorporate being green into any party.

My favorite green idea is the “No Wrap” party. This is where you politely ask your guests to skip the gift wrap and “congratulations” cards. Instead your guests can bring their gift with a small gift tag on it or you can supply small post-its for guests to write their names on. You can then display your fabulous new housewares for the entirety of the shower and let people check out your new loot as they wish. This also allows you to spend much more quality time with your guests, talking with them and having fun as opposed to unwrapping tons of gifts and oooing and awwwing over every cup or piece of silverware. Another way to showcase your gifts without gift wrap, is to have your guests present their gift while also sharing their favorite memory or story about the bride. It’s a nice way for your guests to get to know one another and also help the bride feel special with her closest friends and family telling their sweet, personal memories.

Macy’s registry even offers a “Go Green- no gift wrap” option where it actually tells your guests that you requested no gift wrap. Genius!

Another easy way to go green at your parties is to use real plates and silverware. No paper or plastic. This is the same for table linens and napkins. Use cloth whenever possible. Yes, you’ll have dishes and laundry at the end of the day, but this is a very simple way to help reduce a lot of unnecessary garbage. An added bonus to using the good plates and linens- your party’s aesthetic will be more luxurious and elegant.

Try using e-vites (email invitations) or use invitations printed on recycled paper. The same goes for your thank you cards. My personal favorite green thank you, is to take a picture of yourself and/or your fiance using your gift and then emailing it the guest who gave it to you with your thank you message. It’s a creative, thoughtful way to go above and beyond to say thank you, while saving money on postage and stationary AND being green! Love it!

If you’re using a caterer or having your party at a restaurant, try finding one that gets their supplies from local farms using seasonal ingredients. If you’re home cooking- try hitting up the local farmer’s market for your food. It’s a great place to find favors as well!

For favors that are relatively inexpensive as well as green, try herbs, flower bulbs, seeds, or donations to help reduce the carbon footprint of your wedding. All great ways to thank your guests for their attendance.

An informed, environmentally conscious bride is a chic and fabulous bride! For more info for us tree hugging, granola eating, hippie brides- check out GreenBrideGuide.com! (No dreadlocks or hemp required!)

Photo Courtesy of Elisha Orin Photography and one of the most gorgeous green weddings I’ve ever seen.

So I came across this photo while practicing my favorite method of procrastination, reading PerezHilton.com.

Now, I know I don’t exactly have the same skin tone as the gorgeous Zoe Saldana, but her make-up in this photo is flawless. Her skin is glowing, her eyes are piercing, and the subtle pink lipstick and blush balance out the sexy smoky eye perfectly. STUNNING.

I’m thinking it’s the perfect look that I’m going for and I’m employing Josselyn at Bhivebridal.com to get it done for me! I’m so excited I found her. She’s a fabulous make-up artist in Buffalo who’s portfolio is totally impressive. I trust her to make me look and feel absolutely gorgeous- exactly the way you should feel on your wedding day.

I’m hoping to do a trial run with her on the day of my engagement photos in 3 weeks. I’m thinking I’ll be taking this photo along for inspiration.