I’m sitting here on a Saturday night. My pug is snoring on the arm of the couch, boyfriend is passed out in the bedroom and I’m on my couch watching a watered down version of the newest in the American Pie saga that apparently no one got the memo- are no longer acceptably funny past the trilogy which ended about 5 years ago.
Where did my life go?
I’ve always been the girl who’s up til 4 in the morning, sleeping till noon, or maybe just not sleep at all. I was always the first one to get up and do karaoke or dance on the bar. My friends are probably out having fishbowl drinking contests or getting a guy they just met to buy them a drink, or taking many many pictures of themselves to post on Facebook and MySpace the next day to prove how much better their night was than anyone else’s. I used to be part of that. Now it seems all my fun has to happen before 9 p.m. or else the yawning starts. My friends drunk dial my phone at 11:30 p.m. only to find this geriatric girl in bed!
Does having an 8-5 job mean your Fun Pass is revoked? Do I just need to get used to a new kind of fun? I can’t seem to find the balance between my old spontaneous, bar dancing college self and my new salary making, health insurance holding, adult self. Now, my friends invite me out and I make the plans to go but 10:00 rolls around and I am ready to go but can’t bring myself to get in my car. I feel terrible because I end up bailing on them and slowly my invites are coming to a halt. I want to see my friends, I just don’t want to see them throwing up at the end of the night. I want to talk to them, I just don’t want to do that screaming over the bad music blaring in the background. I think I just answered my own question.
I guess I’m having an almost quarter life crisis tonight. I miss my friends lately and I’m missing college life, but I love my new life too. I come home every night to an amazing man who cooks for me and loves me instead of a bitchy roommate who ruins my stuff and refuses to take out the trash. And upon that last reflection, my crisis has officially been averted. HA.
Suddenly those college years aren’t looking so shiny anymore…
Your turn! Any good college experiences you’d like to reminisce about- please feel free to share. Thanks!
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I can remember going through this same transition and feeling panicky about “am I getting old?!” I think you’ll find that even old fogeys like me (ha!) can still be fun and have a life outside fo the office. I still go out with my friends and stay out WAY too late and end up at Waffle House at 3 a.m., but it’s pretty infrequent and I pay for it by feeling like a zombie for the rest of the weekend. There’s a balance in life of security and stability vs. wildness and fun and spontaneity. The trick is finding the right balance for you. It’s a constant journey.
By larak on 06.22.08 9:36 am | Permalink
Hello lover. I know of who you are referring to when you speak of picking up a random guy to buy drinks at the bar – it’s me! And guess what…I work every day 8-5. When I’m in school, it’s not like undergrad where we can afford to stay out late and make it to our 1pm class for the day. I’m literally in class from 8-4. It’s like a full time job; in fact, it’s more than a full-time job – it’s a 24/7 job. I’m not allowed to leave my work at my desk and resume where I left off the next day. I have to take my work home with me every night and then go over it in my head hour after hour and then when I get tired, I feel that I need a little something to celebrate the fact that what I’m doing is pretty awesome. You’re set in the mentality that you’re getting old – you’re not! We’re the same age, we’re just in different places. You are the same person you’ve always been – fun and wonderful. I do miss the times that we have together and I feel I am one of the victims of your “quarter-life crisis”. I could easily put myself in the same situation as you – my god, I’m actually going to be perscribing medications and cutting into animals to potentially save their lives (it’s a little daunting to think about, especially since it’s only 3 years away now). I’m not saying that you have to go out every night of every weekend, but I think that you should give yourself a little credit for where you are in life right now. Take a little time out for yourself, away from work, away from the pooch (although she’s freaking cute), and away from the loving boyfriend. We need those times to ourselves with the girls to unload and vent and catch up with what’s happening around us. The best part, it doesn’t have to happen at a bar at 11pm with awful music in the background with gross guys attempting to pick you up with lame pick-up lines (and they’ve gotten worse, believe me – these people need mentors or something). It can be a simple after-work margarita with a bowl of chips at Don Pablos for about 2 hours. It can be a nice hang-out-around-7-movie-in with some great conversation with no involvment of the outside world or alcohol. Don’t underestimate us as your friends. We’ve grown up too, believe it or not. We struggle staying up past 10pm and waking up after 10am. We’re all in the same boat here. We don’t expect for you to get sloshed every time we hang out, we just want your company and to see how you’re doing. I’m 23, and will be 24 this winter. I still have the room-mate situation, I’m single, I’m successful and it’s not the school and work that stresses me out the most, it’s the fact that I find myself sitting alone with no one to talk to. Perhaps that just my mid-quarter crisis. Can we just hang out like adults and fix each others’ ruts and have fun while doing it, then??
By Miranda on 06.22.08 11:04 am | Permalink
Yeah. It’s funny because even when I was in college, I wasn’t the huge going out person. It just hits me every once in awhile I feel like that’s what I should still be doing. I’d much prefer going to see a movie over going shot for shot with some random guy. I definitely need to find the balance and also stop always bailing on my friends.
By catalysta on 06.22.08 11:12 am | Permalink
Miranda- absolutely! Happy you stopped by! How about we do something today even? I shall call you. I do miss my good friends and I need to stop bailing. I will try harder! (and no, shockingly I was not referring to you as one of the crazy going out people… those were more my roommates last year- as wonderful as they are, I just CANNOT keep up with them anymore!)
You and me… today. Let’s make it happen!
By catalysta on 06.22.08 11:17 am | Permalink
Life is always a difficult transition. That you are reflecting on this means you totally have one.
What makes you happy? Is that sitting around watching movies with your dog and/or bf? It sounds like your discontent comes from the idea that you need to (or should) be doing something other than what you are. Does your action reflect what you want to be doing? Is it that you want to be going out on Saturday night… or that you WANT to want to go out on Saturday night?
Just be yourself… as long as that doesn’t involve watching American Pie movies.
By slightlyseven on 06.22.08 11:54 pm | Permalink
Excellent points, Slightlyseven. And I believe you are right on. I think I should want to be doing these things that others are doing… but funny how when the time comes, I can’t bring myself to go. I do love to sit around and watch movies with the pup and the b/f.
Now if only I could love going to the gym just as much…
By catalysta on 06.23.08 9:35 am | Permalink
Sounds like you miss the people more than the activity. Besides, you look at the bar with a whole new lens when you’re in a relationship. The boys are way less charming. (weird how that happened, huh?) I spent a good chunk of time after graduation chasing boys, doing the bar scene (since we had JOBS, we could afford the better bars with the better boys!). At the end of the day, I had more fun doing things I’d never done before: wine tasting, joining a co-ed softball team, going to a movie/meal alone (gasp!). Introspection is good. Start to worry when you stop doing it.
By Jenn on 06.23.08 4:59 pm | Permalink
I can relate 100% to what you’re saying. I’m 23, going on 24 this year, and I also hold down a 9-5 job. I live a little far from work, so I’m away from home basically from 8:30 (I get ready in 15min) and come home past 6:30. On days that I go to yoga after work, I’m home at 8:30. We lose so much of the time for ourselves because of work, and work dinners/events too, for that matter. By the end of the week, I’m so physcially and mentally tired I can’t bring myself to going out, as much as I want to.
I do think though, that this is just getting used to the new lifestyle..I miss my friends and I want to go out and party with them like I used to, but I’m starting to feel its okay to leave the heavy alcohol consumption and dancing all night to the special occasions. I’m enjoying my stable life right now, and I also have enough trust and understanding with my friends (at least the close ones) so that we don’t disagree.
It’s just a stage of maturing, of becoming a repsonsible adult and there’s nothing wrong with that. I don’t think you should feel bad about who you are now, and instead if your friends don’t understand you, you shouldn’t let it get you. And of course, there are great friends who try to compromise with your lifestyle like Miranda
Your blog is interesting by the way…I hope you don’t mind if I stop by from time to time.
By jeannieroebuck on 06.23.08 5:20 pm | Permalink
yes the alcohol consumption isn’t as appealing anymore. I don’t need the boys because I have one… and my dog is plenty fun! There’s a lot to keep me rooted. I guess I’m missing that freedom sometimes. The ease of doing what you want when you want. But the new life isn’t so bad either!
By catalysta on 06.23.08 5:51 pm | Permalink
Me, I’m 22, finishing uni by correspondence and working a full-time office job, and as of last year, I’m a married woman. My husband and I go out with friends on Friday or Saturday nights, and sometimes have a midweek drink after work, but neither of us is really up for huge benders (well, not *intentional* benders, anyway, where you plan to go and get ludicrously trashed as per the uni student tao, instead of just having a good night here and there).
What was I saying? Oh, yeah – that changing your night-out patterns is cool. You’re not getting old-womanish; you’re just having a new kind of fun. You can still be a committed, boy-having office gal and kick up with your heels with the best of them – but there’s no shame in not doing so every night of the week.
By fozmeadows on 06.25.08 12:58 am | Permalink
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