A little while ago, I wrote about how difficult it is to take criticism from coworkers who also happen to be friends. I used the example of my Coworker K. Well maybe I found the reason why. Maybe I have an issue with separating personal from professional. That’s not really a maybe- that’s a definitely. I just can’t seem to separate the two. When can you go to a coworker as a friend and not fear crossing some straight professional line? How much of yourself can you really let people know? And worse yet- when the coworker starts off as a friend first, and then becomes coworker only- it makes the relationship even harder to navigate. Do you pull away completely and close yourself off to all personal contact? Or do you have to play that stupid game where you can only tell some things and not others? I’m an all or nothing kind of girl. I don’t play the games- never have. I’m not a fake person and if I hate you I’m going to tell you. If you upset me, I’m going to let you know. I’m not going to pretend that you’re some wonderful person if you’re not. That’s something I pride myself on. If I worked with my best friend and I got upset with her outside of work for something, then it would be difficult to act like I’m ok with her at work. Even though I know it’s necessary and in a lot of cases, mandatory.

But other than checking every syllable, every thought, and every keystroke- what are we real people supposed to do? We aren’t robots. Our personality is what makes us who we are. I was hired based on my personality- I had 0 experience. My enthusiasm, willingness to learn, and honest acknowledgment of my shortcomings is what got me where I am. And now I feel like those traits that inherently make me who I am- need to be beaten out of me to succeed. Maybe I’m totally off-base. But think about it… someone used this analogy with me the other day and it made a lot of sense. If you absolutely hated the owner of the company you work for or the CEO or someone of that power- would you tell him you hated him or cop some bitchy attitude with him if he asked you to do something. No way! You’d smile and accept any task graciously and eagerly and then you’d get that task done as quickly, efficiently, and beautifully as you possibly could. 

Back to my point. I try to hold my emotions. I try to stay professional. But what if your frustrations don’t lie with the owner of the company? What if they are just with any person at work? Sometimes you just can’t help it. I get upset. I take things personally. I probably shouldn’t, but I do.  You can’t let your personal life interfere with your professional life. But I just don’t know how to shut myself off.

Are we starting to see a pattern here? 

So how do you do it? How do you control your emotions even when you want to scream? Write it off as stupid work problem? Laugh it off? Go home and do a lot of bitching but smile like everything is cool tomorrow? Seriously?! I need some tips!