You know that little girl running around your neighborhood who loves to play dress up in ridiculous costumes and play jewelry? That used to be me. I would run around in the most ridiculous outfits including my mother’s old high school prom dress that she sewed herself. I’d collect lilacs from my tree in the backyard or dandelions for my beautiful bouquets. I loved to pretend it was my wedding.

When I was about 6 or 7, there was a wedding going on down the street. I donned an old Cinderella costume from Halloween, pulled on my purple elbow length gloves, tiara, fake pearls, and ran down the block. With my little red wagon in tow filled with rocks, flowers, and other treasures, I begged the wedding party to let me be their flower girl. The bride was nice enough to come over to the little gypsy homeless looking girl me and tell me that she thought I looked very nice but sadly could not be in the wedding.

I have always dreamed about my own wedding. The dream has changed many times over the years and has slowly morphed into the vision that we are creating for January 1, 2011. One thing that hasn’t changed- my love for things that are entirely too expensive. To name one thing specifically, since I was old enough to know who she was, I have longed for a Vera Wang gown. Her gowns stand for everything that girls could ever want on their wedding day- timelessness, effortlessly chic, stunning, perfection, the list goes on. I had pretty much conceded on ever owning one and went ahead and bought my dress. And even though I love my dress, I had second thoughts. Even now, I love my dress but it’s not a Vera. Being incredibly stupid, I tried on a Vera dress yesterday. Made of some of the softest tulle you could ever imagine touching- it was stunning. I didn’t want to take it off. But with a price tag of $4500, it isn’t even close to a possibility. Even if I sold the dress I already have, it would barely make a dent in that price.

And now I’ve created a major dress dilemma. Nothing compares to a Vera Wang dress. They are special. You put it on and you can’t imagine wearing anything else. I would sleep in this dress. I’d wear it to the grocery store. I’d pull a Miss Havisham and just never take it off. I even tried to send a picture of the dress to my stepfather thinking he’d say something negative and I’d be able to let go of my dream dress with some dignity. Instead he came back with this- “that dress was made for you.” Then we had an exchange about how there’s no way I can afford it. I also can’t really justify spending that much on a dress I’ll wear once. But I can’t stop thinking about it. I dreamed of the Vera last night. I can’t stop thinking about how I felt in it. Every detail was flawless. It was as if Vera Wang herself had designed a one of a kind dress just for me. I would do anything for this dress.

Someone help me! Talk me out of this. Talk sense into me. It’s crazy and I clearly need some wedding dress therapy. But do both of us a favor and look at the dress… then try to talk me out of it. But I think just about anyone who understands and appreciates fashion will take my side on the matter.