A lot of people have been asking me- so how do I start planning? There’s so much to take in and where do I even start? Well here’s some sage advice from someone who’s been there, didn’t listen, and wishes she would have.

First thing is first- set your budget. This number will drive your entire wedding. Ask (politely) who can and will be able to contribute to your wedding. Will either your or your partner’s parents be able to help out or will you be funding everything on your own? Get as close to a solid number as you can from everyone who will be contributing. Once you have a set budget- don’t waver. Unless you come upon a large windfall of cash or find a long lost millionaire relative- stick with your budget. Budgets can be a nasty point of contention on your otherwise happy engagement especially if you start to get eyes for 14k gold edged place settings, Vera Wang dresses, and Rihanna as your wedding band. There are great budget calculators on WeddingWire.com and TheKnot.com where you can input your entire budget and break it out amongst all the different vendors. You can then customize them as needed. So that’s priority one- set the budget.

After you have a solid budget set- sit down with your fiance and make a list of 3 things that are the most important to the both of you on your wedding day. These are the areas where you are willing to splurge a little. For example, the must haves for Chris and me were venue, food, and photography. These were areas which were most important to us and we are willing to sacrifice in other areas to have better quality. These “deal-breakers” will help keep your budget in check but also allow for some leeway in what you feel is important and special. Make sure you and your fiance agree on your deal breakers. Maybe you each choose one and then decide on the third together. This ensures that you both are getting what’s most important to you on your wedding day.

Next decision you’ll have to make is when and where. Are you set on a specific date or a specific place? If the date of your wedding is most important then start searching for venues right away and put a deposit down as soon as you find one you love. If you’re more interested in the venue then do some research and take your time finding a great place. If you love a place that’s out of your budget, try asking out about off season dates. Friday and Sunday weddings are also a great way to save money but still keep your favorite place. Once you find a place you love, figure out the season you’d like to get married in and find what dates are available. I love our venue, so we chose a date in January, during the off season to save half the cost on the site fee.

Last big decision regards your style. Your venue can help influence this aspect of your wedding- indoor/outdoor, formal/casual, contemporary/vintage, etc. Do you have funky style or classic? Consult your fiance on this and come up with a plan about the type of affair this will be. His opinion is important and though he might not care about the tiny details like you do, he’ll probably want a small say about the style of the event.

Remember you’re getting married and compromise is going to be the newest and most frequent word used in your vocabulary. Compromise really starts with planning your wedding. Most people don’t have an endless budget so you’ll have to decide on what’s important and what’s not.

Either way, you’re getting married and that’s pretty awesome. And if all this is too much for you… just elope!

So now tell me- what are your 3 most important areas for your day?