I have some troubles dropping my issues at the door. I’m one of those heart on my sleeve people and though I usually pride myself on my openness sometimes it’s not always the best quality in a group environment. If I had a bad night or I had a tiff with boyfriend- I’m not easily able to shut myself off. If someone asks me out of sheer politeness, “Hey Meg, how are you?” and I had a bad night/morning/whatever, they will almost without a doubt get every detail of said aggravation. Not good. 

I am an over-sharer.

When I was in college, I used to waitress. I got so good at being able to turn off the motor mouth in me and smile- it was for the sake of tips. No one wants a bitchy waitress. I need to find that again. I need to find that balance where I’m outgoing and still myself, but a bit more toned down version of myself. I believe it’s called “professionalism?” I need to find that “off” button. 

I’ve never been diagnosed with any kind of crazy. But I have to say I wouldn’t be terribly surprised if they came back to say- yep, you have a typical case of (insert random crazy-disorder)  and you need a very large dose of (insert one of any bazillion prescribed anti-crazy medications here).

Then again… maybe it’s just one of those days. (I hope). 

**I realize I have left myself open here for a whole slew of mockery and crazy jokes! I’m good at laughing at myself so go for it… but try to be a little kind here!!  I also just realized that I have a category titled “Xanax induced sleep” for some irony… interesting… **

Along with my new goal of running a half marathon, I’m also going to try and get my diet back on track. Since I plan on doing a lot of working out, I don’t want to go negate it all with shitty eating habits, so I need to start making healthier choices. Around my office there seems to be a plethora of unhealthy crap at most times and being the sugar-holic that I am, it’s nearly impossible for me to turn down left over cookies from client meetings or cake from a coworker’s son’s communion over the weekend. I love sugar. I love chocolate. I love candy. 

Our office is currently in the middle of moving and our first day at the new place is today! Oh and did I mention our new office is directly beside an outdoor mall? Can someone spell T-E-M-P-T-A-T-I-O-N? There’s so many wonderful places to eat lunch and then when work is over- there are so many wonderful places to have Happy Hour! Oh did I also mention I’m a shop-a-holic? That’s for another post…  

So here I go. It’s time to change my eating habits. So I’m giving myself 1 week of wonderful gluttony. Boyfriend is camping in Canada for a week and I’m going to live it up! I’m going to go to my Happy Hours and eat some fried zucchini at lunch and enjoy all the damn cookies I want. Then when Boyfriend gets home- I’m cracking down. I’ll start my running routine, sign up for the half marathon, and get healthy! So if you see me around after the holiday weekend- please pry the sugary goodness out of my fists! I might bite- but I’ll thank you later! I promise! My personal goal: 15 lbs. Wish me luck! 

So all you wonderful people that are jumping on the motivation band wagon with me- what are you going to do to stay with me and get healthier?

I hate working out. I hate it I hate it I hate it. As a former gymnast, I used to crave the competition and the strength that came with the exhausting and difficult workouts. And damn did I look good in a bikini! I think the only thing I have left from those gymnast days are some strong muscular legs and an innate sense of guilt that I don’t work out anymore. No longer able to be a gymnast, I try really hard to find a new niche to get back into the wonderful world of sweat and pain. To add insult to injury, Boyfriend is a distance runner and I feel major guilt every time he comes home from work and the first thing he wants to do is go out for an 8 mile run. I envy his love of something that is challenging, inexpensive, and can be done at any time he chooses. 

The 9-5 work day is not very conducive to a workout routine either. You leave the office and you’re tired- who wants to go to the gym? Yuck. I’d rather come home, take my dog out, grocery shop, cook dinner, watch some bad reality TV and go to bed. Because of this, my body has taken a toll. I am lucky enough that I’m not a big person but I’m not as fit as I used to be. Putting that bikini on seems like more of a punishment than privilege for a fun day at the pool. SO… I have decided that I’m going to voice a goal of mine. And once I put it in writing- it’s final. So here it is. In the spirit of Boyfriend’s running habit-

I’m going to run a half marathon. 

I’ve gone running with him many times and sometimes I even get really into it. The farthest I’ve ever run at one time is 3 miles. So it’s going to be quite the challenge to run 13.1 miles but I’m going to do it! It’s also nice to have a live-in running buddy and encourager. It’s so helpful when Boyfriend looks at me after a run- all sweaty and gross- and he tells me how awesome I did- even if I did terrible. To break up the running a bit, I want to get back into doing Yoga. I’d also like to try a Zumba class as I’ve heard some great things about it. A few goals for this would be to get back down to a weight where I feel a bit more comfortable. I want to feel good for my sister’s wedding at the end of September and I overall just want to feel less lazy and more productive. And maybe that bikini in my closet won’t be so daunting anymore! 

Now in this spirit I’m going to need some help and encouragement. I’d also like to know what you do for your routine to avoid the 9-5 weight gain. OR if you find yourself in my predicament then join me! Pick some things you’ve been dying to try and actually do them. Decide on a goal and go for it. Feel free to come back and leave progress results. Or leave a link to your blog and I’ll come by and encourage you too! Good luck! 

I’m very selective of whom I would call a friend. Having said that, I have made very good friends with one of my coworkers. I’m even friends with his wife. When I’m having a rough time with something, I know that I immediately could turn to them for unwavering support, advice, or help. They are truly wonderful people. 

This coworker, I don’t like to name names so I will call him K. He’s not my “boss” per se, but he definitely has the authority to say- you will do (insert random task here). If he were ever to read this, he would probably be laugh because though he has this “power”, he rarely exercises it. More so, I usually end up yelling at him to delegate and I end up taking over whatever I have enough knowledge about to help get it crossed off the ever-expanding ‘To Do’ list. We’re actually a pretty good team. 

I respect K. I respect him as a person, a coworker, and as a friend. But being in the industry for less than a year, I do occasionally drop the ball. When this happens, K is not afraid to call me out on it. He never intentionally means to cut me down in the process but no matter how gently he tells me I fucked up… bottom line is- I fucked up. I feel like I let him down and I hate feeling like I’ve let people down. I take criticism from him really personally and it ends up ruining my whole day. Sometimes I even feel the need to defend myself and I end up angry and talking back to him, even though in the back of my mind I know he’s right. (God, I hope he never reads this!) 

Now what you wouldn’t realize from this post thus far, is that I actually take constructive criticism really well! Occasionally, I have my snap reaction of- what an asshole!- that immediately dissipates and I know that it’s only to help me improve. I appreciate the feedback so that I have the chance to get better. But it’s so hard to take it from K sometimes. Is it because he’s my friend too? Is it because he knows me outside of work? You’d think that would make criticism from him easier to listen to but it’s the exact opposite for me. 

So I pose the question to you! How do you deal with feedback when it’s not exactly what you were hoping to hear?

I decided to start this blog as a way to put my thoughts into words. When I was a teenager I used to fill notebook upon notebook with every thought I could imagine. It was such a passion of mine. But with college and life overtaking all my time, it slowly became a memory of something I used to love.

Now, my overly articulated life isn’t always done in the most constructive of ways. Usually, I end up jumbling out a slew of cuss words in front of:
A. my coworkers
B. my dog or
C. any random stranger who happens to come across me on that particular day.
Often it ends up as
D. all of the above.

I am the Queen of Self Destruction. 

I should start a bit more basic. 

I am a young professional (very young-as many like to point out) working in the advertising world as an Account Coordinator in Columbus, OH. I’m always trying to balance my new corporate life with my ever dramatic personal life. I plan to blog more about my personal life than my professional one. Any professional anecdotes will be mostly based on my own struggle with trying to keep my head above water and the frustration I bring mostly on myself. But like I said… I’ll try to stay basic before I get going on some crazy tangent. 

I guess I’ll just see where this goes. Organically. I’m not exactly a planner.

My full story will be shared with time and trust me there’s a lot to tell and even more to explore as the doors begin to open. Though I’m sure many others will slam and therein lies my challenge. If you have anything at all you’d like to share with me… whether that be advice, rants, compliments, or any other random bout of verbal diarrhea then please leave a comment. Thanks for reading.