I had asked a friend of mine since my freshman year of college to be a bridesmaid in my wedding. She has known Chris and me for almost our whole relationship and has been very supportive of the ups and downs that came with it. I appreciated that in her but I’ve recently noticed some tension bubbling between us for awhile. Every time a little disagreement happened, it would get completely blown out of proportion and end up with us not speaking for a couple weeks. Petty arguments are not my thing. I’m a very direct person so I like to address things, resolve them and be done with them. I’ve learned that most disagreements are easy to forgive and forget when it comes to people who matter- but that theory has to go for both people. One person can’t always be playing peacemaker.

Wedding planning is stressful and hard. If fights start to happen with bridesmaids it can cause a friction that’s so horrible for the bride that it can be even more stressful than the wedding itself. This should not be happening. Your bridesmaids are your people who will be there to calm you down, take your stress away, and if necessary run interference between your future mother in law that drives you crazy or your drunk uncles groping guests. They are your go-to girls for whatever you need. They should NOT be bitching about the how inconvenienced they are, complaining about how horrible their dress is, or generally making you want to tear your hair out. If a bridesmaid starts to become a topic of vent sessions… it’s time to do something about it.

Demoting a bridesmaid sucks. It’s uncomfortable and weird, but sometimes it’s necessary to maintain your sanity and you shouldn’t feel badly about it. However, you should take the time to consider what you are about to do. Ask yourself a few questions-
1. Is an uncomfortable 5 minutes of asking them to step down, worth the relief of not having to deal with the person anymore?
2. Has your bridesmaid become a sore subject or topic of stress during your wedding planning?
3. Does your bridesmaid have the potential to ruin your day due to personal mini-dramas or problems because she won’t be able to put it aside for a few hours?

If your answer is yes to any or all of these questions, then you should consider asking your bridesmaid to step down or at least have a serious conversation about your worries and frustrations. If your bad seed bridesmaid cares enough, she will apologize and vow to change her attitude for your day. If she doesn’t and instead tries to argue with you, it’s time to pull the plug.

This is what happened in my case. Another argument ensued, after which I was completely reassured that I made the right decision. I am not a bridezilla and if this happens to you, you aren’t either! You deserve a perfect day and nothing should compromise that.

(book cover photo courtesy of “Bad Bridesmaid” by Siri Agrell)

Enter Two Birds Bridesmaid. A killer bridesmaid dress you can wear over 10 different ways and if you get creative, there are definitely many more options as well. It comes in a variety of colors of jersey knit so it’s lightweight and fits many occasions formal or casual. You can tailor this dress to whatever style you are going for in your wedding. You can have the consistency you want for your wedding party while still allowing your girls to have their own individual styles. The best part is that this dress can be worn long after their duties as a bridesmaid have ended. No matter what the color, this is a dress anyone can wear for just about anything… just don’t pair it with dyed to match shoes- yuck!

Another great plus about this dress is that it’s one size fits most. No alterations necessary. The first size fits sizes 0-16, because you twist the straps and tie them as tight as you need them to be. How great is it to know that if you gain a few pounds, you still have a dress that will still fit and look fabulous? If you’re larger than a size 16, Two Birds now offers a plus size option as well. If you want to cover up a bit more, they also offer matching color bandeau tops to wear underneath the dress.

The only downside of this dress is the cost. For the short version, the Two Birds Bridesmaid dress will set you back $270 and for the long version $290. If you want a bandeau, that will also cost you. The designer will even make this dress for you in a custom color, if what you are looking for isn’t available. But again, it will cost you extra. I feel this is a bit steep to make your bridesmaids pay for a dress, however the versatility of this dress might make it worth the price. Ask your bridesmaids what they think. They might be willing to shell out a little extra for a dress they will actually wear again instead of a cheaper dress that will end up in the GoodWill pile immediately following the wedding.

Yes… every picture you see is the exact same dress. Want your girls to cover up for the ceremony? Try this first option with cap sleeves. Then afterwards, let your girls kick back for the reception into something a little sexier by twisting and wrapping to make their own individual styles.

Check out more ways to wear the dress, as well as a How To Guide on the Two Birds website. You can also become a fan of them on Facebook and see real life testimonials of brides and bridesmaids who loved their dresses.