The weekend I’ve been looking forward to for months, ended as a weekend I wish I could completely erase from my memory. Chris and I drove home to Buffalo on Friday the 23rd for my bridal showers. Friday night, Chris went to his parent’s house, taking our dogs with him, so that I could spend time with my bridesmaids and family that were in town at my mother’s house. Friday night was a blast- we drank wine and laughed and I looked forward to continuing the celebration throughout the weekend at my 2 bridal showers and engagement photos with our pups.

What happened Saturday morning still makes my heart stop just thinking about it. Our little pug, Daisy, got into some chocolate Friday night. She seemed fine because it was just some M&Ms. She was so pleased with herself, rolling on her back showing everyone her belly, like she was saying- “HAHA I got em!” She didn’t eat that much, so Chris walked her and she went to the bathroom like normal. Then he put her to bed.

Sometime during the night, Daisy deteriorated. She had a terrible reaction- we’re not sure why- because there was no way she ate enough chocolate for it to be toxic. By morning, my sweet girl was very sick. She couldn’t walk. She had thrown up everywhere. My future sister in law (a vet student) and Chris rushed her immediately to the vet and on the short ride there, Daisy stopped breathing. But she fought and came back to us. But then it happened again and once again she fought. They got her into the vet and he worked on her and worked on her trying to get her to come around. But it was too late. She was gone.

Chris drove to my mothers house to break the news in which I sobbed and sobbed for hours. I petted her fur and held her little body wrapped in a blanket and told her how much I loved her, how much she meant to me, what a sweet girl she was, how sorry I was. Chris and I just sat there and cried. Then instead of going to get a mani/pedi with my bridesmaid, I had to say goodbye to my beloved pug, my sweet, precious wonderful Daisy and take her to be cremated.

My bridal showers were a blur. And though they were lovely and I’m so grateful for my family and friends who helped get me through the worst weekend of my life, I can’t help but sit here and think about Daisy.

I’ve been told if you write down your favorite things it can help the pain go away. So I feel like I need to do this so I can start to heal- though I don’t anticipate that actually happening for quite some time. But here are my favorite things about this wonderful little dog who graced my life and made me smile every day.

1. She was the cutest pug I’ve ever seen. I spent so many nights cuddled with her on the couch, petting her little velveteen ears or unwrapping and re-wrapping her curly tail.
2. Her weird toe that curled under and I had to take extra precaution to cut so that it didn’t grow into her foot pad and hurt her.
3. The way she’d chomp down her entire bowl of food in 20 seconds and then try to steal my other dog’s food.
4. Her inside howl. Not a bark- but an actual soft little howl. Mostly signaling that she wanted some attention. God I miss that.
5. You’d ask her if she was hungry or wanted food or a treat and she’d tilt her head so far to one side that you couldn’t help but laugh. Then she’d run to the pantry door barking and barking because she loved her food.
6. No matter how bad she could be or how stubborn, you couldn’t help but smile every time you looked at her because she was always so happy and goofy. She’d do something so silly that you couldn’t help but pick her up and hug her.
7. She loved baths and I’d massage the shampoo into her fur and she’d close her eyes like she was relaxing at a doggy spa.
8. Dancing to the song “That’s Not My Name” by the Ting Tings and imposing Dais – in place of name. So we’d jump around the house with her and dance with her singing “that’s not my dais.”
9. Propping her up to sit on her butt like a person and calling her, our fat little man. Or walking her on her harness and lifting it a little so she walked on her back legs for a few seconds like she was a person. She was so expressive it almost seemed like she was a person.
10. When you’d walk right up to her, she’d immediately just collapse to the floor and roll over. She wanted her belly rubbed and we’d always oblige.
11. The way she demanded attention. If she wanted on your lap, damnit she’d sit there. She had no concept of boundaries, which I joked about often, so she’d climb all over you and try to lick your face. You push her off, she just got right back up.
12. We got her as an 8 week old, 3 lb. puppy and we’d hold her in the palm of our hand.

There are probably thousands more that I could think of, but I’m already sad enough. My heart aches and thus far the pain has not subsided. Our house is so quiet. Our other pets are so sad. I got all these beautiful presents for my shower and I’m so grateful for them, but I’d give every one of them back just to have my Daisy give me kisses again.

The vets don’t think it was the chocolate. There are a few things that could have happened but nothing conclusive and we’ll never know. She’s just gone. It happened quickly, we think, we hope. I can’t bear to think of my little girl suffering. She fought so hard to stay with us and we loved her so much.

Chris and I refused to leave Buffalo without her, so we brought her back home- where she belonged.  We’ve hand-painted her an urn covered in daisies so she can sit on the mantel in the living room. She always wanted to be where we were, so that is where she’ll stay. My Daisy was the best one.

RIP My Sweet Puggy Princess, Daisy.
August 26, 2007 – July 24, 2010
You were our first family member and will always be loved and missed.

Going green is huge trend right now and there are many great fun ways to incorporate being green into any party.

My favorite green idea is the “No Wrap” party. This is where you politely ask your guests to skip the gift wrap and “congratulations” cards. Instead your guests can bring their gift with a small gift tag on it or you can supply small post-its for guests to write their names on. You can then display your fabulous new housewares for the entirety of the shower and let people check out your new loot as they wish. This also allows you to spend much more quality time with your guests, talking with them and having fun as opposed to unwrapping tons of gifts and oooing and awwwing over every cup or piece of silverware. Another way to showcase your gifts without gift wrap, is to have your guests present their gift while also sharing their favorite memory or story about the bride. It’s a nice way for your guests to get to know one another and also help the bride feel special with her closest friends and family telling their sweet, personal memories.

Macy’s registry even offers a “Go Green- no gift wrap” option where it actually tells your guests that you requested no gift wrap. Genius!

Another easy way to go green at your parties is to use real plates and silverware. No paper or plastic. This is the same for table linens and napkins. Use cloth whenever possible. Yes, you’ll have dishes and laundry at the end of the day, but this is a very simple way to help reduce a lot of unnecessary garbage. An added bonus to using the good plates and linens- your party’s aesthetic will be more luxurious and elegant.

Try using e-vites (email invitations) or use invitations printed on recycled paper. The same goes for your thank you cards. My personal favorite green thank you, is to take a picture of yourself and/or your fiance using your gift and then emailing it the guest who gave it to you with your thank you message. It’s a creative, thoughtful way to go above and beyond to say thank you, while saving money on postage and stationary AND being green! Love it!

If you’re using a caterer or having your party at a restaurant, try finding one that gets their supplies from local farms using seasonal ingredients. If you’re home cooking- try hitting up the local farmer’s market for your food. It’s a great place to find favors as well!

For favors that are relatively inexpensive as well as green, try herbs, flower bulbs, seeds, or donations to help reduce the carbon footprint of your wedding. All great ways to thank your guests for their attendance.

An informed, environmentally conscious bride is a chic and fabulous bride! For more info for us tree hugging, granola eating, hippie brides- check out GreenBrideGuide.com! (No dreadlocks or hemp required!)

Photo Courtesy of Elisha Orin Photography and one of the most gorgeous green weddings I’ve ever seen.

Here is prototype #1.

My Mother glued on some small white silk flowers as an option to see how it would look, however my florist will be supplying real flowers, white opened roses or ranunculus, with wire on them for the actual day. Then my 2 wonderful, kind, loyal friends (love you Krystal and Brittany!!!) will wrap the flowers onto the branches the day of my wedding. This way we can drop off our centerpieces sometime earlier in the week without worrying about someone trying to deliver the large, bulky completed centerpieces the day of the wedding.

And I think my Mom did a great job! They will be just perfect for our winter wedding and tall enough for our grand venue. They will also be surrounded with different sized pillar candles that I’ve hand-wrapped with various types of lace. What do you think?

Another helpful tip and this goes for all proposals… not just ones around the holidays: always ask the family power figure for their blessing before you pop the question. I’m a big fan of this tradition. It’s not so much asking “permission” anymore as it is a nice gesture that shows your respect for her family and your desire to become a part of it. Your sincerity will be welcomed and you will most likely earn major brownie points from her family. (Chris had to ask 2 sets of parents, since mine are divorced. He even let my mom wear my ring because she loved it so much! And then he put up with my stepfather asking him about 10 times if he was “sure about this”… jokingly, of course. haha!)

The way you propose will say a lot about how well you know her and it will be the story she will tell hundreds of people. It will be one of the best moments of your life. Put some thought into your plan. Think about a few key points you’d like to tell her when you’re down on one knee… but don’t stress about memorizing a long speech. It’s really not about how much you say- it’s how you say it. And though you’ll be nervous, try to relax as much as you can. You’re about to embark on the best adventure of your life with the person you love more than anything.

I wish you good luck, congratulations, and happy holidays!!

(photo courtesy of Jazzlolo [Lauren Kennedy Photography] on FlickR)

Flower bulbs- Great for a spring, summer, or fall wedding, flower bulbs can be bought in bulk at incredibly inexpensive prices. (Tulip bulbs can be as cheap as 10 cents or less) They add a fabulous green element to your day and give your guests a burst of color for their gardens, reminding them every year of your beautiful day. If you want to get really crafty, buy the bulbs in your wedding colors. Wrap them in tulle with a cute little poem about your blooming love. Slightly cheesy but it’s a wedding so a bit of cheese is totally acceptable. You can go to any local nursery to find an array of bulbs.

These favors can also double as placecard holders for your guests!

Potted Herbs- Another green idea, if you and your hubby to be are really into cooking or things that smell nice, a small potted herb at each setting can be a lovely touch. You can pick different herbs and label them so that your guests swap if they want. Herbs are also great because they can be planted outside or kept in the pot. These can also be bought in bulk from local farms, grocery stores, or if you’re feeling really ambitious and have the time, you can grow the herbs yourself and re-pot them saving yourself a lot of money.

Wine- This was one of the ideas that Chris and I considered since we got engaged in Napa. There is a wine-making place about 20 minutes from our house. Chose your favorite wine (or 2… or 3…) after a tasting, of course. The owners will then teach you how to make your wine of choice on the premises and since the process takes a few weeks, you stop back at the crucial times to help. Then at the end, you can bottle the wine in half bottles (half the size of normal wine bottles) which helps to stretch your batch. You can then create personalized labels. It’s fun, it’s unique, it’s something you and your fiance can do together, and it’s a definite wow for your guests when they realized you did everything but stomp the grapes!

Cheers to the Bride and Groom!

Local Products- Depending on where your wedding is, there is a plethora of local products your guests would be thrilled to have considering their usefulness. Being from Buffalo, a fun idea might be chicken wing sauce from the Anchor Bar. If you’re from Texas, how about some BBQ sauce? Columbus, OH- buckeyes top the list- which you can buy OR make. There are so many options from expensive to incredibly budget conscious.

Handmade Gifts- Soaps, chocolates, ornaments, sock monkeys, picture frames, candles. Maybe someone in your family owns their own business making specific items? Use these people! They will likely give you a great discount and most likely will be happy to help. It’s even better if you can make it yourself! Personalized gifts are a favorite of guests. Whatever your theme or time of year, you can find a personal homemade favor to go with it. Guests love things that they can tell have meaning to the bride and groom and in which thought was given.

Who Needs Favors?- Though it’s always nice to thank your guests, a new trend is emerging where brides and grooms are forgoing the favors altogether and opting for something less traditional. Try adding a signature cocktail to your bar menu for your guests to enjoy. Or maybe a hot chocolate, coffee, and cordials bar at the end of the night. Make your own ice cream sundaes? Or my personal favorite- a photo booth in which each guests can get their picture taken in that 4 picture strip style and keep one of the sets for themselves and put the other copy in a keepsake book sitting next to the booth for you.

Donate to a Charity- This is what we will be doing for our wedding. I have a deep love for animals and I thought there could be nothing better than giving to the SPCA or Humane Society. Writing a kind note to the guests to tell them you have donated in their honor to the charity of your choice is a wonderful and heartwarming gesture. Great ideas can be anything that you believe in or has touched you in life- Susan G. Komen breast cancer charity, Hospice providers, nursing homes, animal charities, local food kitchens, education funds, AIDS research, etc. Opportunities are endless and you can start your marriage off with a kind gift to people or animals in need.

Please leave other ideas you have for favors! This is a great area where you can get creative with your wedding and give ideas to other brides to be in attendance no matter what your budget may be. Be the one to step away from the jordan almonds and do something really special to celebrate your special day with your family and friends.