I suck at being on time. Ever since the move, my commute has more than doubled. Any normal person would probably then make sure they get in their car an extra twenty minutes to make up for that extra bit. But not this punctuality challenged twenty-something. Well that’s not exactly true. I try. I really do. But no matter what I do, I can’t seem to get my ass in gear. I get up early enough- it’s not the sleep that I need. I’m the oldest young person you’ll ever know crawling her ass into bed at 9:30. I get up and have some breakfast, a cup of coffee and turn on the TV. No, I’m not filling my morning with the News about the ever shit-canned economy and job losses or the serial rapist who’s torturing young women all around Columbus- I don’t like to start my morning with things that make me want to cry. Instead, I turn on some trashy reality TV that makes Boyfriend cringe with disgust but makes me feel a little happier when I can say, “well no matter how bad things get for me, at least I’m not some washed up porn star trying her hand at “Charm School” and the only claim to fame I have is trying to screw a washed up 80’s hair band member who’s double my age” or “Wow Spencer is such an asshole, why is Heidi still with him??!! Why is Audrina still talking to them?? The world would be a better place if that cast of tramps just got hit by a bus.” Actually, now that I think about it I’m not sure if that last one makes me feel happier or sadder about my life that I care… food for thought, I guess? 

Anyway, herein lies the problem. I can’t turn it off. Once I start a show- I can’t get up until it’s over. I slowly wake up to this junk, I drink my coffee, and then ever so slowly I drag my ass to the shower. The rest of my morning is a blur of me running around as fast as I can while simultaneously debating whether I want to go the day without wearing makeup or if I’d rather go to work with wet hair. Oh, I might also mention that I do this with reruns of Saved by the Bell playing in the background. Yes, I’m serious. 

Then, as it always happens- when you’re already slightly behind schedule, everything else decides to fuck with you as much as possible. Your dog decides to piss on the carpet after you’ve already taken her out twice and she just stared at you. You get stuck behind a bus full of special needs kids. That barely running train decides to barrel through. The senior citizen in front of you slams on their brakes at every hint of a yellow light. And then of course- BOOM you’re officially charging to your desk 20 minutes late in heels that are NOT inconspicuous, trying to avoid your boss who is getting coffee in the cafe which is conveniently located 15 feet from your desk, turning on your computer and booting up your email to pretend like you’ve been there all morning and secretly rubbing your sprained ankle that you maintained while tripping up the stairs on your rhinoceros-like stampede into the office. 

Here Mr. Senior VP- let me mark that review sheet for you… the punctuality category… hmm… is there a box for “sucks?” Or maybe I should just cancel my DVR service?. (Today is the day that I wish I had Dingo-like photoshop capabilities because this post would make for a classic pic… maybe she’ll take a break from thesis writing and make one for me! haha!)

So I went to Louisville for the concert with every intention of doing the most horribly embarrassing things to get Idina Menzel’s attention. But in the end- fate was on my side and seemed to cut me a break. Within being in the city for 5 minutes, my friend and I found a cute little Mexican restaurant across the street from the theatre. We had some time to kill and some margaritas sounded pretty damn good. We batted our eyelashes at the nice busboy who pulled a table outside for us to eat on the sidewalk. We get our margaritas and agree that life pretty much couldn’t get much better…. until Idina Menzel herself comes strolling past my table. 

I let out a GASP. I wasn’t prepared. I didn’t have my pumpkin! I didn’t want to chase her down the street… so she said “Hi” and I managed to stumble out a “hi” back. But then she walked away. I got no picture! I didn’t give her my pumpkin which was still sitting in my car in the parking garage around the corner!!!! DAMNIT! I proceeded to call every member of my family, Boyfriend, friend of family, everyone. I just let my idol walk past me and I didn’t get to actually meet her! So I turn to friend M- “M, you think she’ll come back? Maybe I should go get the pumpkin… you know just in case?” M- “Yes- definitely… just in case.” I take off running. I ran as fast as my 4 inch heels would allow. Luckily the car was close and I got my pumpkin and ran back. I sat down and starting drinking my delicious margarita. Another few minutes passed and I nearly strained my neck craning it looking for another glimpse of the amazing Idina. And then she came back! Walking back to the theatre and I wasn’t about to let this chance pass for a second time. 

I shot out of my seat and scooped up the not small pumpkin and ran to the corner she was about to step off to cross the street.

MsCatalysta- “Idina!!! Hi. I’m a huge fan. Huge. You don’t even know! I’ve been a fan for years!!!” 
Idina Menzel- “Hi. Oh thank you that’s so sweet.”
MsCatalysta- “Umm so I got you a pumpkin. Because it’s Halloween… and it has green on it… you know because you were green and it’s green… here” (Shoves pumpkin into Idina’s hands.)
Idina Menzel- “That’s so nice, thank you! What’s your name?”  
MsCatalysta- “I’m Megan…. and this is my friend, M.” 
Idina Menzel- “So nice to meet you… look I don’t really want to take pictures right now… but ask for my tour manager, Deb, at the end of the concert and we’ll make sure we get some later.”
MsCatalysta- “Seriously? Oh my god, thank you so much! Really… thank you!” 

And so I got a personal invite backstage from Idina, herself. I watched an unbelievable show where she had my pumpkin onstage!!!!! (See picture at right and my pumpkin is on the left). She even thanked me for the pumpkin giving me a shout out while she was onstage. Pretty awesome. I was like a little kid on Christmas. Or maybe Halloween? She was even wearing a cute little outfit for the holiday! She is freaking awesome. She did all her new songs and even a few covers. Then my all time favorite- her cover of “No Day But Today” from RENT and her remix of “Defying Gravity” from WICKED. 

Then I got to go backstage and meet her again. She signed my shirt and a program for some little girls that I know who idolize her as well- no thanks to me, I’m sure. She took pictures with everyone and spent time with each person and was so incredibly nice. 

I didn’t wear the witch hat… and I didn’t burst into song. (Though I was close.) But I did get to meet my idol. A person whose songs have influenced my life so much that it was impossible to convey to her in my whole 5 minutes spent in her presence. This is a person whose songs take me out of my awful days and a person whose songs help me get higher on my best days. It was such an honor to shake her hand, have her know my name, and be in her own words, “the only person to ever chase her down on a street with a pumpkin.” 

All in all… I think I managed to maintain at least a little bit of dignity but more importantly… mission accomplished! Thank you Idina!!!!  

My apologies for such a long absence! I hated it but I just couldn’t seem to bring myself to write.

 I’mslammed at work and I’ve been trying to get ready for our move and trying to see friends and just be keep my head about me. When I did have a free second I had nothing to say after my over-articulated day and just crashed. But I’m trying to think where to begin… 

A recap is in order I guess- 

Boyfriend and I are closing on the house next Friday. It was supposed to be today but it got pushed back so we could have a better interest rate. Worth it but still a pain in the ass. Now we have people visiting this weekend and have to clean our crap-hole apartment that is SO dirty, I’m actually disgusted to have people sleeping in it. Boyfriend and friends will be running a 5K that I’d love to join in on, but I haven’t been training and don’t really feel like embarrassing myself when I finally cross the finish line and every person in my group finished in less than half of my time. So I’m deciding if I want to try or just bring Peeing Dog and hang out at the finish line for the whopping 15 minutes it will take that entire group to finish. Frankly I don’t think I want to do either. I feel like a failure not trying, but it’s possible that I’ll feel even more like a failure when it takes me 35+ minutes to run 3 miles or potentially not even finish.

I spent one crazy weekend in DC for SIster’s bachelorette party. (Shout out to the hilarious bitches over at CEB!) I always wonder who actually reads my blog and then I walk into Sister’s office to have at least half of the office walk up and say, “Hi I’m (insert name). I read your blog.” I didn’t know whether to be excited or a little scared. When I asked Sister why all of these people know about me- she says, “Because I stand up and say, ‘hey everyone, you’ve got to read the stupid shit my sister just wrote.’” Nice. But hey- a reader is a reader and I’m making a greater effort to not care what people think or be really hurt when you write your very personal thoughts to have someone call them “stupid shit.” Anyway… I met some pretty awesome people down there in DC. Had a drink or two, danced the night away, played some dirty games, drunk texted a coworker, posted tweets from my phone while sitting in the bar, and assaulted the busboy that grabbed my ass on the way out of a diner by kicking him square in the spine while slinging every insulting curse word I could muster. (I felt slightly proud and ashamed of my actions at the same time…)  

Work is crazy. I’ve been working through lunch a lot and drinking a lot of caffeine. I’m trying to be more positive and volunteer for extra projects. Therefore it’s been some late nights recently and Peeing Dog has made it blatantly aware that she’s not happy with me. I was laying on the couch last night and Boyfriend notices some dribbles on a pillow. I tell him they must be water dribbles from Peeing Dog getting a drink. Then I look down and notice The Puddle. The bitched peed ON me!!! Since I was wearing a dress I had failed to notice. Boyfriend stood there baffled- not quite sure if he should laugh hysterically or be completely disgusted at my obliviousness and urine soaked dress. Yeah… pretty gross. 

Speaking of gross… Sarah Palin. Ugh. But that will have to be saved for another post. I’m trying to formulate a post that doesn’t include every same insulting curse word I slew at the busboy.  

What’s going on with you guys? CEB girls (and that curly haired guy) leave me some comments!! I want to hear about work lives, love lives, and anything else you want to say. 

Ever since the purchase of the house, 9 out of 10 people’s responses have been: “wow that’s a big step!… so when are you getting married?” To which I scrunch my face and answer, “ummm… when I’m asked?” Apparently it’s my Scarlet U- for Unmarried. 

Why is there an order for everything? Why is it that there needs to be the marriage to have the house and then the babies to be considered acceptable? I don’t understand. Is it that “carrying the virginal bride into the new threshold” thing? I just want to be happy. And I am! I’m excited for a house. I’m excited to paint and have a garden and put in a fence and beg boyfriend for second dog. I’m excited to not live in an apartment and come home to something that is mine. (Even if it isn’t mine per se since I had 0 financial contribution to it but anyway). I’m excited to decorate a place that I’m not going to move out of in a year. Like I said, I’m just happy.

But sometimes I wonder if it makes me look bad in front of the more conservative crowds? Do they look down on me for my crazy liberal living in sin? And what’s funny, is that for a person who cares entirely too much about what people think, I surprised myself when I realized… I don’t give a shit!! Any of those people who are poo-pooing me for my choice to be happy can go suck it. I’ve spent a lot of my life trying to make everyone else happy and for once, I’m starting to see how much more important it is to just make myself happy instead. 

The engagement part would be nice- I’m not going to lie, but why is that the first thing people must ask? For awhile, I was entirely too focused on getting a ring on my finger. Not just because I wanted a ring… I did genuinely want that commitment. But now, I know I have that commitment with or without a rock. I find that so much more important. I’m happy I learned that lesson before I ever got married or engaged. Because if you seriously need a ring for validation then I feel a little sad for your relationship. I used to be that sad person. But now I have no doubt that eventually I will be able to refer to Boyfriend as Husband. So when it comes, it comes. And, I’m just guessing here but, I bet it will be worth the wait. 

For now, I’m brushing up on my interior decorating skills and preparing for negotiations for that second dog… 

What’s your scarlet letter and what does it stand for? 

I hate being told, “You have great potential.” That’s basically like saying, “well currently you suck, but I see you possibly succeeding at a later date.” I never take this comment personally because I know that it’s always said with the nicest of intentions, but still it almost without a doubt solicits an eye roll from me.

A lot of people “have potential.” That doesn’t mean they will actually amount to anything. One slip up and the potential is gone, everything you worked for is dashed. The “it’s not fair policy” is practically jammed down our throats as unassuming children and we learn that potential, though good, won’t get you crap. Potential only works when all the factors come together just so and then it can be realized for something substantial? The only people that I’ve see this work for are people, in my opinion, who don’t really deserve it. And to back this statement up I offer ONE of my personal examples out of my ”Life Isn’t Fair” vault.

Personal Anecdote: When I was in my junior year of college- I busted my ass to study for my LSAT’s in preparation for law school. I took a Princeton Review prep class for months, did the homework, took the practice tests. I was told by many people, “you have great lawyer potential.” Test day came around- I was completely prepared. Until I got my scores back… and though not terribly catastrophic… I’m clearly not a lawyer today. You can draw your own conclusion there, but let me add though that I’m not a total failure, I actually didn’t end up applying to law school anyway because I decided it just wasn’t for me. But anyway, had I kicked that test’s ass, things might have turned out differently.
On the flip side, I’ve seen people not do crap and practically walk their way into law school. That’s infuriating. They don’t care, they don’t have a passion, but they happen to test well.

I’ve been told I’m entirely too cynical for a 23 year old. To which I respond- well, duh… but I’ve got great potential to be an optimist! Too bad those factors didn’t fall into place…

Anyone else have a good old “life isn’t fair” gripe you’d like to throw in? Here’s your chance to rant about that high school spite that you’ve never quite ridded yourself of… so let me hear it!