A little while ago, I wrote about how difficult it is to take criticism from coworkers who also happen to be friends. I used the example of my Coworker K. Well maybe I found the reason why. Maybe I have an issue with separating personal from professional. That’s not really a maybe- that’s a definitely. I just can’t seem to separate the two. When can you go to a coworker as a friend and not fear crossing some straight professional line? How much of yourself can you really let people know? And worse yet- when the coworker starts off as a friend first, and then becomes coworker only- it makes the relationship even harder to navigate. Do you pull away completely and close yourself off to all personal contact? Or do you have to play that stupid game where you can only tell some things and not others? I’m an all or nothing kind of girl. I don’t play the games- never have. I’m not a fake person and if I hate you I’m going to tell you. If you upset me, I’m going to let you know. I’m not going to pretend that you’re some wonderful person if you’re not. That’s something I pride myself on. If I worked with my best friend and I got upset with her outside of work for something, then it would be difficult to act like I’m ok with her at work. Even though I know it’s necessary and in a lot of cases, mandatory.

But other than checking every syllable, every thought, and every keystroke- what are we real people supposed to do? We aren’t robots. Our personality is what makes us who we are. I was hired based on my personality- I had 0 experience. My enthusiasm, willingness to learn, and honest acknowledgment of my shortcomings is what got me where I am. And now I feel like those traits that inherently make me who I am- need to be beaten out of me to succeed. Maybe I’m totally off-base. But think about it… someone used this analogy with me the other day and it made a lot of sense. If you absolutely hated the owner of the company you work for or the CEO or someone of that power- would you tell him you hated him or cop some bitchy attitude with him if he asked you to do something. No way! You’d smile and accept any task graciously and eagerly and then you’d get that task done as quickly, efficiently, and beautifully as you possibly could. 

Back to my point. I try to hold my emotions. I try to stay professional. But what if your frustrations don’t lie with the owner of the company? What if they are just with any person at work? Sometimes you just can’t help it. I get upset. I take things personally. I probably shouldn’t, but I do.  You can’t let your personal life interfere with your professional life. But I just don’t know how to shut myself off.

Are we starting to see a pattern here? 

So how do you do it? How do you control your emotions even when you want to scream? Write it off as stupid work problem? Laugh it off? Go home and do a lot of bitching but smile like everything is cool tomorrow? Seriously?! I need some tips! 

It’s a Friday. I was up very late perusing more houses last night. We have narrowed it down to 2 great options and plan on looking at 5-6 more and then making a decision. It’s been a pretty easy process since boyfriend and I have basically agreed on everything. Crazy, I know! But we will have a definite decision next week! The houses we have picked out are awesome and I can’t wait! (When we make the final decision I’ll post some pics!)

I am slammed at work and have no time to stop. However I have gotten a TON accomplished and I feel very proud of that.

Tomorrow it’s hopping into the car for a trip to Toledo for another wedding. We’re leaving peeing dog with a friend and probably staying the night. Should be a really fun wedding because my friend is a little crazy and I love it. The drinks will be flowing! And who knows… maybe I’ll catch another bouquet. hahaha. (Boyfriend might not let me move into the new house if that happens though…)

Now I challenge you my sarcastic, lovely, blogger buddies. Leave your best moment of the week… could be something funny that happened to you (or someone else!), could be something that you achieved, anything you want. Here’s your chance to gloat- guilt free. No humble pie here. Let it loose and tell me something good! Bonus points for anyone who makes me laugh. (Speaking of- this cat picture is cracking me up at the moment.)

Afterwards… go have a fantastic weekend.

I have spent the last 2 weekends driving to Buffalo for many wedding festivities. There is no end in sight to this madness. Last weekend was sister’s bridal shower. This weekend was boyfriend’s college roommate’s wedding. Next weekend is my good friend’s. Then in a couple weeks, there’s a 50th wedding anniversary, a bachelorette party for sister, then another wedding! So for the next 2 months, I’m going to be completely wedded out. 

I have helped fix registries. I have decorated an entire house in “Blush and Bashful.” I spent 3.5 hours constructing a 15 lb. red velvet and gray icing masterpiece of an armadillo cake. I have busted my ass over fitting into maid of honor dress #1 only to (thank god!) toss that one aside for maid of honor dress #2 that won’t make me lose 15 lbs. to look half decent in it. I have driven countless hours with boyfriend and peeing dog in tow and stressed over painted pots housing tiny cacti for favors, handmade invitations, and the color of the margarita punch… I said I wanted pomegranate margarita NOT regular damnit!!! 

At the moment I’m feeling a little “27 Dresses.” *rolls eyes* 

But I am happy to do it. Most of what I mentioned was for sister and she’s totally worth it. But I’ve realized that I don’t think I want to go through all of the hoops myself. But I don’t want to get ahead of myself… because as I’ve mentioned- I occasionally change my mind on things. Right now I’m going to concentrate on just being happy and our new house hunting excursion.

The highlight of all this wedding junk lately has by far been this past weekend. I caught the bouquet at boyfriend’s college roommate’s wedding. So with all of his old college track buddies watching- I prepared and stretched, reminded the bride that it’s been 6 years of grueling wonderful relationship, and then as those flowers soared- I dove onto that floor like Greg Louganis at the 1984 Olympics. I ate some dance floor while I was at it and took out a couple bridesmaids, but so help me god those flowers were MINE! After I’d eaten my fill of floor and tulle for the night, I start to walk off thinking my job was done. Oh no- I forgot the second part of this whole thing. 

The Garter. Boyfriend did not do as I asked and instead kept his elbows to himself. And in doing so- allowed for the 10 year old ring bearer to sneak in there like a midget on a mission and caught the garter. Which the DJ then kindly made him place on my arm instead of my leg and the poor kid kept going and tried to get it up around my neck!!  (I’m convinced boyfriend tried to pay him to strangle me with it…) But no… that wasn’t good enough either. DJ then asks- does Megan have a boyfriend in here?? So then he drags boyfriend up to the floor so he can then wriggle the stupid thing onto my leg. As if I wasn’t embarrassed enough at this point- DJ announces- “Well geez, boyfriend acts like he hasn’t been there before.” And then finally with mine and boyfriend’s humiliation complete- we exited the floor. Track buddies were rolling on the floor in fits of laughter. (Don’t worry- I’ll get some pictures as soon as one of the many wedding goers tags me on Facebook… wonderful.)

And with that I remind you… no matter how much you might want pretty flowers and to be a little silly for the sake of tradition (and a possible left hand rock in the future)- DO NOT go for blood to catch a bouquet unless you are seriously ready to be humiliated in front of a room full of people you don’t know. 

What’s your favorite wedding memory? So I don’t have to be the only one ridiculously embarrassed here?? 

If you don’t have anything nice to say… don’t say anything at all.

I always found this to be a very interesting saying because as I’ve mentioned. I don’t easily shut my mouth. But this blog is a bit about teaching myself restraint. Sometimes it’s good because you can control your mouth before you say things you don’t mean. But today I feel like I would mean every word that comes out. Which might not be the best thing for me… as good as it might feel at the time! 

So today I must invoke this over-spoken rule mostly used on 5 year olds. 

But what are your thoughts on the rule? Lame or necessary? Personally I feel it’s lame BUT necessary. And sadly I feel like a large part of me is diminishing because I like to pride myself on honesty and I feel like I’m being dishonest to myself by not speaking my mind. But anyway- it sadly is necessary today. 

So I’m thinking my post title says it all. But in case you didn’t know, my childhood cat was hit by a car and died about a month ago. I went home last weekend for Sister’s bridal shower. (Pictures and stories to come…)  When I walk into my parent’s house late Friday night after working a full day and driving for 5.5 hours to get to Buffalo, my mother was considerate enough to remove the tin of my cat’s ashes from my room. She knew that I would be tired and easily irritable from the terrible Ohio drivers and crappy road food. But I still wanted to see “him.” I asked her to tell me the whole story. 

And even though I asked, I didn’t want to know. But I asked therefore implying that I did want to know and so she told me. 

My mother and stepfather were eating dinner in the backyard when the phone rings. The neighbor who called asked my mother where our cat was. My mom told her she just saw him and he was probably running around somewhere. My neighbor told my mom not to go out front and that she was going to “take care of it.” My mother being who she is walks out front. There was my beloved Charlie cat at the bottom of the driveway. 

So by this point I’m crying and I ask my mom… again with the questions you don’t really want the answers to… “Mom, was it bad?” 

“Well, Meg… yeah… it was pretty bad. But he didn’t suffer.” 

Then I got to find that he was scrapped off the road with a shovel.

So she tells me that she took the tin out of my room so that it wasn’t the first thing I saw when I got in my room. But then she told me that he was in the spare bedroom. I went into the room and lost it for about a half hour. Just lost it. Every emotion I’ve been feeling in the past month was completely let loose in that spare room as I sat on the floor. 13 years of memories with my Charlie-cat were spilled out onto that floor. Now is ashes- which are really crushed bones- yeah… not cool- are in my bedroom waiting to be spread amongst the trees behind my house. Which I will… when I can officially let him go. 

Now it’s not that I wouldn’t have cried my eyes out anyway had I not heard the story because trust me I did… but some things you just shouldn’t know. And furthermore- I need to learn to not ask.