So if you know me at all or follow me on twitter, you’re probably aware that I have been laid off for the better part of a year. I was let go from my job last year during this lovely economy and struggled to find something new. Finally I have landed a new gig that promises to be challenging, fun, creative, and incredibly rewarding. I am the new Web Content Producer at ThisWeek Community Media. I’m on my second week and already my head is spinning with possibilities and new information! I love what I’m learning and all the people I work with. This job is exactly what I needed and have been hoping for. I’m so excited to do the things I love everyday as a career.

I also just turned 25 on February 3rd. I’ve heard turning 25 scares a lot of people but this was a birthday I was ready to embrace. It was a quiet and contemplative day and I tried to reflect on what I learned in the last year. This has been a year of exciting events as well as complicated challenges. But overall it was a year of growth in all areas of my life and I am extremely grateful for it. I have wonderful people in my life and overall I am the happiest I’ve ever been. My mind has been opened to possibilities and opportunities that I never thought possible both personally and professionally. I’ve made some great new friends and have been overwhelmed by the community support and encouragement I’ve received from people I’ve never even met. (Twitter rocks!) I’ve gotten rid of some toxic friends and improved my other relationships with those amazing, one of a kind type friends. (Marissa and Miranda- I’m talking about you!) I also feel that my relationship with my sister has grown stronger over the last year and I’m so lucky to have her there for me. But most of all I’m so excited to marry my best friend and love of my life. Chris impresses, amazes, and infatuates me every day and I truly can’t believe I will get to spend the rest of my life with him.

Not to mention that having this new job also makes wedding planning a little easier considering I will actually be able to contribute to our budget. I feel strongly that all couples should contribute something to their wedding budget and I was worried that I might not have been able to. Planning a wedding is really stressful and this new job actually takes some of that stress off of me. (Yeah- a job that takes stress away- how cool is that?)

I wanted to take a little time as well to thank you. I have a wonderful loyal readership and the people who send me emails and ask questions and tweet me are some of the most genuine, awesome people I’ve meet over the last year. Especially you Columbus peeps and the people who helped encourage me to never give up over this tough year. I have found support in people I’ve never met (and some I have briefly) and yet you have been so kind and helpful to me. When I announced I’d finally landed this new job, the flood of congratulations and well wishes I received was overwhelming. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it.

Seriously- thank you.

As much as I actually dislike the holidays, I really love a great Christmas/New Year engagement story. I love the winter and fires, stockings and confetti, lots of champagne… etc. So for all you men out there hoping to propose to your girlfriend this Christmas, I wish you good luck! I also come to you offering some advice. Christmas is a great day for proposals but you have to remember how your girlfriend feels. For me, Christmas is generally filled with stress and anxiety-filled family messes… if this is the same for your girlfriend, maybe plan a quiet time with just the two of you, alone, special and totally romantic. Take the stress away by reminding her that you’ll always be there for her and that you love her more than anything. She’ll be so happy she won’t remember any anxiety surrounding the crazy holidays. If your girlfriend is really close with her family and relishes in some attention and holiday joy, maybe plan a proposal on Christmas morning surrounded by her family. She’ll be so thrilled that her whole family got to be in on your special moment and you’ll have a great story for your many years together.

Another helpful tip and this goes for all proposals… not just ones around the holidays: always ask the family power figure for their blessing before you pop the question. I’m a big fan of this tradition. It’s not so much asking “permission” anymore as it is a nice gesture that shows your respect for her family and your desire to become a part of it. Your sincerity will be welcomed and you will most likely earn major brownie points from her family. (Chris had to ask 2 sets of parents, since mine are divorced. He even let my mom wear my ring because she loved it so much! And then he put up with my stepfather asking him about 10 times if he was “sure about this”… jokingly, of course. haha!)

The way you propose will say a lot about how well you know her and it will be the story she will tell hundreds of people. It will be one of the best moments of your life. Put some thought into your plan. Think about a few key points you’d like to tell her when you’re down on one knee… but don’t stress about memorizing a long speech. It’s really not about how much you say- it’s how you say it. And though you’ll be nervous, try to relax as much as you can. You’re about to embark on the best adventure of your life with the person you love more than anything.

I wish you good luck, congratulations, and happy holidays!!

(photo courtesy of Jazzlolo [Lauren Kennedy Photography] on FlickR)

I’ve been researching this topic quite a bit recently. It seems to be a hot button on many forums and wedding boards. So I thought it was worth a discussion here.

I polled my twitter friends and overwhemlingly the response came back that adult only receptions or weddings are a reasonable request with a few exceptions. Since this is a big and most likely expensive day, the couple is allowed to dictate a few things. This might be viewed as inconvenient or rude by others and that is something you’ll have to accept, should you decide to have an adult only reception.

You should expect to take some flack from family and friends with kids. However, if you want an adult only reception- which in my opinion is completely reasonable- here are my tips to ensure the least amount of complaints from your guests and therefore less stress for you-

• Pick an age limit- say 10 and under- and discuss with your fiance and parents that no children in that bracket will be invited. No exceptions.
• If a flower girl and/or ring bearer are in your party, consider only having them at the ceremony and not the reception. This backs up your “adult only” policy and will help your case that you are not picking and choosing specific children.
• Clearly communicate this via all wedding invites, info, etc. For example, address the invitations directly to the members of the family who are invited. You can also include the exact number of seats reserved for them on the RSVP card. I would also add a small blurb on your wedding website that says “Adult only” reception in your description. Feel free to see how I worded this request on our personal wedding website.
• Give a personal call to the guests who did not get the message from the invitation and RSVPed with their children anyway. Kindly apologize and explain that children cannot be accommodated. Feel free to throw in the phrase “due to budget” if you need a better excuse.
• Accept the fact that no matter how tactfully you ask, some people might be offended and not come. This is unfortunate but still a possibility and you have to be ready for it.
• Don’t feel guilty! Remember that your guests are not footing your bill nor will they be able to take back the actions of their children should they all of the sudden throw a tantrum in the middle of your vows, which is then captured on video for all eternity. If you want an adult only affair, stick to your guns and try not to feel guilty.
• Offer to hire a couple of babysitters at one of the wedding party hotels or suites, kind of like a temporary daycare for the evening. You can cover an up-front fee for the sitters and then the parents can pay the sitter’s hourly rate per child. This way you look helpful and thoughtful for your guests and less like the child-hating bridezilla.
• For the guests- try to be understanding of the couple’s request. It is not a personal attack against you or your children. The couple just chooses to celebrate with the people who really “get” what the day is about or maybe they truly can’t afford to accommodate everyone’s children which can amount to big numbers.

Personally, I’m having an adult only wedding. No flower girl, no ring bearer. No kids whatsoever at the ceremony or reception. And since we have many family members with babies and young children, I accept that this will probably be viewed by some as a nuisance. To them and all others who feel this way, I apologize.

Just call me child-hating bridezilla.

PS- This picture totally creeps me out-

About a year ago I mentioned how bummed I was about finding out via Facebook how one of my best friends got engaged. I was and am happy for him, but I was sad that he didn’t tell me himself. (Since that post, we have reconciled from our falling out and are now on good terms.) I’ve known the guy since I was 9 and we dated for about a year when we were in high school. My first “real” love, he went off to college, we broke up but remained close friends. I always knew that if I really needed something, he’d be there. It’s that kind of bond you can only have with someone who grew up with you and understands you. But over the college years, we grew apart mainly because of distance and finding our own lives outside of our hometown. In the process, we both found the real loves of our lives and then daily life takes over. Life is busy. It’s hard to maintain relationships- even when you live in the same town with people. But if you don’t live in the same place, it’s even harder.

Anyway, he’s getting married tomorrow to his beautiful fiance. Though she and I have never met, I’m sure she’s a really great person because my friend has great judge of character. I’ve tried many times to arrange get togethers when we’ve all been in my hometown for holidays, but it never worked out. Most likely partially due to that fact and partially because he and I once dated, I was not invited to their wedding. I completely understand the reasoning, and I’m sure I’d give a big HELL NO if my fiance wanted to invite an ex to our wedding, but nonetheless it makes me very sad. I wish I could be there and watch them get married. I wish all the awkwardness with this type of situation (which is unavoidable, I know) wouldn’t be a factor. I wish inviting them to Chris and my wedding wouldn’t be weird. Maybe I wish it was Chris and me getting married tomorrow. I wish a lot of things. What can I say? – I’m secretly an idealist.

When I was 15 or so, I used to joke with him that if he got married before me, I’d be like Julia Roberts in My Best Friend’s Wedding and try to sabotage it by any means I could. Alas, I won’t be doing that. Instead, I called him the other day and offered him some relaxing advice and then I gave him a heartfelt congratulations. I hope he knows I meant it.

Growing up is kinda crappy sometimes. You realize that no matter how much you want to hold on to certain friendships or relationships, you might not be able to anymore or you have to try to be more flexible and adapt them to your new life. Because that life thing continues to take over and slowly you realize that priorities change and loyalties lie elsewhere now. Change is good. I welcome change, though I do wish it were a little easier sometimes. For everyone.

(photo: movie still from My Best Friend’s Wedding)

Chris and I don’t have all that much in common. We have similar minds, in that we think alike, but as for hobbies we are polar opposites. We both know it and sometimes it can take its toll on our relationship. I feel that separate hobbies are nice and even necessary to maintain some semblance of self and individualism in close relationships like marriage. But doing everything separate doesn’t always make for the easiest of paths because sometimes you want your partner to take part in the things you love.

For example, Chris loves motorcycles. Therefore, 2 years ago, when he moved to Columbus to be with me, he bought me my own hot pink and black sparkly motorcycle helmet so I can go on rides with him. I love wearing that helmet and it makes me excited to participate in one of his favorite hobbies. On the flip side, I love animals. Therefore, Chris bought me a second dog as a surprise for Christmas and puts up with the messes my pets make on a daily basis. But, sometimes these small interests in each other’s hobbies aren’t enough.

Recently we made a promise to each other to find the things that we both enjoy doing and make more time to do them together. One of the things we love to do the most is cook. Hence, our new ‘Cooking Sunday.’ Not a very creative name I know, but we have a blast. We base our meals on things we haven’t tried before, vegetables we’ve grown in our garden, ingredients we find at Farmer’s Markets, etc. We even ride bikes to the Farmer’s Market in town to find stuff. After a month, here is a short list of things we’ve made:

-Homemade pasta and sauce- tomatoes and veggies grown in garden
-Apple and Jalepeno jelly- the apples were picked at an orchard and the jalepenos grown in our garden
-Pesto made from basil grown in our garden
-Applesauce from our day at the orchard apple picking
-Roasted chicken with veggies and Caprese salad
-Zucchini bread for ourselves and all our neighbors
-Summer squash soup
I’m happy to give recipes if anyone is interested in trying any of this stuff. Everything we’ve made thus far has been completely delicious!

I’m also learning to love new things that I never would have done before. I love to go camping, which is something I never did until I met Chris. We also found we love to kayak and we’re hoping to buy our own in the next year. Rock climbing is also a fun activity to do together. If you’re feeling adventurous, try taking a weekend road trip together to somewhere you’ve never been.

It’s also nice to just go on dates together. A fun dinner or happy hour always puts me in a good mood. I feel proud to sit across from my fiance, share my thoughts with him, listen to what he has to say and spend time with him. Apple, berry, or pumpkin picking makes for a more relaxing and cute date. Wine tasting is another love of ours… gee I wonder why?

Doing these things have created a new playfulness to our relationship. Trying them together has brought us much closer. Even if the activity turns out to be lame, you bond because you can laugh about it afterwards. If it’s fun, then you have something new to spice up boring days.

What are some things you and your significant other like to do together? Try anything fun lately?