I have given this topic a lot of thought. I’ve gone back and forth a million times now with the idea of eloping. Simple, to the point, inexpensive and ultimately you end up exactly where you want to be: married to the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. Sounds pretty foolproof to me!

To make it extra special you can always make it a destination wedding and pick someplace you’ve always wanted to go or your favorite place in the world. Get married on your first or second day there and spend the rest of time time having your fabulous honeymoon. Or have a fantastic vacation and end it with a bang by getting married at your favorite spot you found during your stay. Either way it’s romantic, spontaneous, and something that only you two will share and increase your newly-made bond.

Some other positives include: no planning, no stress, no family drama. You also can save a lot of money depending on where you do it. By eloping, the money you spend is only on yourselves and not on flowers that will die in 2 days, a cake that you’ll eat 2 bites of, and an open bar that serves mainly to get you embarrassed by your wasted relatives.

I would, however, advise against eloping if you have parents or future in-laws that would be incredibly offended or hurt by not being able to attend your wedding. You don’t want a lifetime of guilt thrown at you because you didn’t give them the option to attend. You also don’t want to look back and regret not having your friends and family there. It’s all about what you want.

I feel like I’m talking to myself. As I continue to decide what I want, I continue to change my mind and become even more indecisive. Chris is with me every step of the way- he says he’ll be happy with whatever I decide because he doesn’t want me to look back and regret anything about our day. The only thing I know for sure is that I want to marry him. Everything else between me and the alter is just fuss. I just want someone else to plan it for me and I’ll just show up. Anyone know how to make that happen?

So I’ve spent a lot of time doing research for the wedding. Our abundance of time gives me the luxury to sit and find the things that I really want and take my time to find the best deals. Any wedding where you have to stick to a budget, you have to make sure you’re getting the best offers. So here are some great websites you might want to look into-

Etsy- I have found this website to be an amazing resource. From custom made jewelry to wedding invitations, wedding pillows, veils, garters, , people sell their services at bargain prices. I bought the most fantastic hair accessory courtesy of Brendasbridalveils that should be arriving any day now. Talk to the people whose pieces you like and ask them for custom pieces. They are happy to help and can create virtually anything you want!

TheKnot- Always a fantastic resource for information. The Knot lets you create a personal website for your wedding that lets guests come check on information and learn more about the couple. They cover every topic you could ever question. Cake design, invitations, local resources for your wedding city, photographers, bridesmaids, centerpieces, dresses, flowers, decor, colors, EVERYTHING. This site is a fantastic resource for doing your pre-shopping research. It’s one stop shopping. Print out pictures and keep a folder of all the things you like. This way you have solid photos to represent your style and taste when you go visit vendors. 

Magnetstreet- Another fantastic resource for save-the-dates, invitations, place cards, favor cards, table numbers, basically any stationary needs for your big day. You can even design your save the dates and invitations with personal photos of you and your fiance. I chose a magnet save the date that I customized with 4 photos from the different years my fiance and I dated. The more you order the less they charge per piece, so it’s still very economical for large and small orders. 

WeddingDesigner- This site is for all your random wedding needs. Cake toppers, candles, cake serving sets, toasting sets, guest books, and any other little detail you might not immediately think about. In honor of my fiance’s first love of motorcycles, I found this which shall grace our cake. I just need to get the designer to make the girl with brown hair and it will be perfect! Just a silly detail but I’m totally excited about it. 

So these are some of my little secrets that I’ve found. I hope they help! Let me know if you’ve used any of these sites and what you think about them. I’ll post more as I find them! Feel free to leave your favorites as well! 

So the trip home to Buffalo has turned into an impromptu vacation for me. Fiance returned home with Dog #2 and I have decided to remain here with my parents for the rest of the week. Fiance’s sister, my Maid of Honor, is coming to visit us in Columbus on Friday giving me a perfect way back home and giving her some company on her way in. The Parents are in NYC for the weekend and I find myself alone with The Parents’ 2 yapping mongrels and Dog #1 (no longer Peeing Dog because she’s actually potty trained!- minus those occasional poops in the basement…) in The Parents’ large and currently empty house. So I’ve had some reflection time and got to thinking about this whole engagement thing. As I mentioned, you might want to get your barf bags ready…

I don’t think I’ve ever been happier.

Now I’m not talking like this because I look down at a shiny rock on my hand but instead I find my mind wondering to my gorgeous, wonderful fiance. When I decided to stay here, I didn’t realize that this is the longest we’ve been apart in 2 years. Now I’m not so needy that I’m breaking down without him- but instead I genuinely have time to miss him. Every time he crosses my mind, I smile. Every time I see that he’s called or texted, I find myself excited to hear from him.

I reconnected with a hometown friend tonight and in speaking I mentioned that being engaged is “weird.” He asked me, “how so?” And I explained to him that honestly it has nothing to do with apprehension or hesitation. It’s the fact that I’m so excited to spend my life with someone that I love more than anything that planning a day surrounded around US and attended by our closest friends and family is indescribable. Having people congratulate you and welcome you to their family with open arms is wonderful. And looking at the person who feels the same about you is… too incredible for words.

What are the moments you still have with your special someone that give you those butterflies all over again? I think my absolute favorite is when fiance wakes me up in the morning and says those 3 little words that start out a perfect, loving, wonderful day… “I made breakfast.”

So we’ve finally made the decision. No turning back.

As much as I want my amazing Napa destination wedding, I have come to the conclusion that I have a large family and nothing that I do is going to change that. I do want them there and it’s just too difficult to get 20-something people across the country for 2 days basically. So our intimate New Year’s Eve wedding is set. No more going back. I will compensate for compromising on location by taking one seriously kick ass honeymoon. I’m thinking Greece… or South Africa… or Thailand! Ahh the wheels are churning! (However if you’re interested in having a Napa destination wedding yourself, I recommend this website. Chris Andrews, Chris@napaweddingsource.com, is their wedding coordinator and she provided me with some fantastic deals on gorgeous places that were absolutely idyllic.)

Anyway, so I decided to take FozMeadow’s idea and shorten the guest list to around 75-100 people. I’ve narrowed the list down to close friends and family only and no children. As it’s New Year’s and therefore heavy alcohol consumption- we’re trying to get as many people as possible to stay the night and I don’t want kids running around. That also means no flower girl or any of that junk. Not my style. Still waiting on the guest list portion from Chris’s family but mine is pretty set. I’ve also cut out cousins from my list. Some of them I wouldn’t mind but you can’t just invite some and not all, plus many of them are much younger and fall under the category of children and therefore ousted. Sorry guys! Chris’s family might be different because they are older and closer… but there are a lot of them. I also told my future mother-in-law to try to keep her list around 50 so we’ll just see how she decides to handle it. Then depending on our venue- we’ll cut as necessary.

So in determining how exactly we want to spend our special day, we continue to go back and forth about what we want. Destination, home, small, large, formal, casual, etc. If I could do anything I wanted I would do this- take my immediate family, all siblings, parents, and closest friends and family to somewhere amazing like Italy or Ireland. Spend a few days sightseeing, partying, and having an amazing mini vacation ending in a small, romantic, intimate ceremony. I wouldn’t care about flowers, bridesmaid dresses, invitations, place cards, centerpieces- none of it. 
I’d have only 3 criteria.
1. Chris shows up
2. A kick ass dress 
3. A delicious cake 
We’d have a great dinner, lots of wine, share special memories and have an amazing night. Family would go home and we’d continue on to somewhere fabulous for our honeymoon. There would be 30 people tops.

Since my dream plan doesn’t seem entirely feasible, we’ve chosen the hometown wedding. We’re both from the same place, Buffalo, NY, so it only seems logical since our entire family is located there. Our big winter wedding. So now the guest list is up to 150-200+. You can’t have a hometown wedding and not invite the entire family- even if you barely know half of them. It’s the proper thing to do. Did I mention that I hate proper? Well I do. It’s also torture because now you’re paying $100 a head and planning all the arrangements that I don’t even care about to begin with. Don’t get me wrong- I want a great wedding. I personally just don’t feel I need all the frills to make it great. I also don’t want to spend $20,000 or more on things I don’t feel I need or care about. Especially when I have a house I am dying to decorate! 

So now onto the next plan- a dumbed down version of the dream plan. Taking Chris’s immediate family (5 people) and my extremely immediate family (6 people- and for me that’s like torture because I have a large blended family and cutting any of them from the guest list is basically like walking up to them and slapping them in the face) and taking them back to Napa Valley, where we got engaged. We’d do a small ceremony in the morning, hopefully at Storybook Mountain, where I fell in love with Napa. We’d stand amongst the vines as we say our vows with our only decoration being the vineyard of Zinfandel and the mountains. We’d spend the rest of the day touring Napa in a limo and have tastings and tours at our favorite vineyards and have a photographer follow us. We’d end the night with a delicious dinner. To me this sounds completely perfect. We’d spend a fraction of the cost of having a “real” wedding and it would be amazing. We’d also still have a picnic BBQ or something to accommodate the guests that couldn’t be in Napa. 

So what would you do if you were in my shoes? How did you handle your guest list or what would be your dream scenario? I’m currently in a total state of “I have no idea what the hell to do.”