I know another month+ bloggy absence but I promise it’s for a good reason and I return with a plethora of new wedding resources for all my favorite brides out there. Now that we are almost at the 6 month mark- my life has turned into wedding madness. I have been inundated with new tasks just about every day. Before I accomplish one thing- I remember another and I fly into a frenzy of Googling and researching. Currently in my thought process…

1. Correct size of wedding shoes. I chose Martinez Valero, “Ozzie” in black satin. I’m so tall when I wear them! 4 and 1/2 inches with a 3/4 platform. LOVES it. Check out 6pm.com for awesome deals on designer shoes. They are the outlet website for Zappos- so I promise it’s legit. Just make sure you double check the right size- because they don’t have exchanges available- so you’ll have to return and reorder if they are wrong. But you can’t beat the deals.

2. Candles. I ordered about 200 candles from YummiCandles.com. I have wrapped them individually with different types of lace to go with our theme. I highly recommend the company- you can order pretty much any candle you can imagine in any color you need for a great price and they are a company out of my hometown in Buffalo, NY.

3. Rehearsal dinner/lunch. Being that our rehearsal will fall on New Year’s Eve- it is making our plans to find a restaurant difficult. It’s difficult to get anyone to accommodate such a large party on a holiday. I’m hoping we found the place finally. It’s called Bacchus and it’s associate with the catering company we are using for the actual wedding. Major score! Amazing food, amazing service, amazing everything. Another plus- it’s a wine bar!! How perfect considering we got engaged in Napa! Thank you again to Austin at Asbury Hall- the best damn wedding coordinator you could hope for. Seriously- if you want to get married in Buffalo- get married at Asbury Hall. You won’t regret it.

4. Lights for the venue. We are using Buffalo BalloonMasters to hang across the balconies on and we are sharing the cost with another bride who’s in the same venue the night before us. It will add such a fabulous ambiance to the room- especially since our ceremony and reception are in the same room. Saving cost by not having to decorate 2 separate spaces.

5. Weight loss. I’m 8 lbs. down! WOOHOO!!! This is major cause for celebration. I haven’t seen this number on the scale in quite some time. I contribute this a lot to working out and Jazzercise and also to making much better food choices, but also taking the time to relax as well and eat when I’m hungry. Who would have thought- diet and exercise are finally working! I’d like to lose 5 more by the end of the month and then work on the last 10 through the Fall. I think I can do it!!

6. Budget budget budget. Enough said. We are doing well but I’m always nervous because there are always things you forget about!

7. Our engagement shoot with Elisha Orin. I have an idea of “vintage picnic” in the downtown Elmwood area of Buffalo. It’s always been one of my favorite places and I think it would be fun to showcase some of the things Chris and I love. I’m currently searching for adorable outfits and props. I also can’t wait to meet Elisha. If you haven’t seen her work- check it out because she’s incredible.

8. Bridemaids and parents gifts! I have the BEST idea ever (which I cannot divulge here because some of my girls tune into read this little blog) but I’m on the hunt for what I need. Hint- it will make pictures completely fun.

9. Save the dates have officially been sent- very exciting news! I’m getting lots of emails and texts from people saying they love them! Now I’ve got to finalize the invitations and get those ordered. If you need an awesome designer try Shana at PoshPaperWorks.com. Custom designs at unbeatable prices. Shana has made some beautiful stuff for us and I’m so excited to see the final product.

10. Photo booth. I really want a photo booth at the wedding. I think it’s fun and quirky and the guests will love it. But the best price I’ve found is still $700 for 4 hours of time. That’s NOT cheap. Now I’m considering DIY options. I love these chalkboard speech bubbles and how much fun I’ve seen the guests having in all the pictures of weddings who had them. I think I can do it myself but it’s another project- do I really want to take something else on right now?

11. Bridal showers. Yes I said showers. There are 2 separate showers in Buffalo back to back to include all the family that wants to come. That’s a LOT of bridal madness. It’ll be really fun though and I’m looking forward to seeing everyone there. It’s nice to know how many people want to celebrate with you. I think some of my friends are also planning another shower here in Columbus because they can’t make it to Buffalo for the others. I’m a lucky girl to have such wonderful people in my life.

12. Music. I have a fabulous DJ for the reception- thanks to Signature Entertainment (who has also promised not to turn into my DJ nightmare filled with the chicken dance or We Are Family). I also have a jazz band for the ceremony which is being run by a friend of mine and I’m trying to figure out exactly what I want played and if it’s even possible with small jazz trio or quartet. More on this later…

I think that about covers it but I hope that somewhat explains my recent absence in blogging. I can’t blog when I’m out there actually planning! There are so many decisions to make. I should probably write about them more so I can work out my thoughts and not be so scattered. I’ll work on that.

6 more months and this will all be over. Would you believe me if I told you I was excited for the end to come? 2 year engagements are a LONG time. Please leave words of encouragement so I don’t have another bridal breakdown.

I’m desperate for a DJ.

We’ve chosen a jazz quartet for our ceremony, cocktail hour and dinner, but I’m looking for a fantastic DJ for our reception. I’ve sent out numerous emails with very little success trying to track down one. Come on Buffalo! Help me out here! I know my criteria is a little… we’ll say… strict, but I can’t help it. I have a firm policy of “no crap” at our wedding. I want plenty of fun- I just don’t want that fun to include synchronized dancing a la “YMCA” or “Macarena.” Is it so much to ask for a little originality in wedding music? Do DJ’s have nothing else up their sleeves than “We Are Family?”

I get it I get it. People love cheesy weddings songs. But I don’t. And neither does Chris for that matter. Call me Bridezilla, but seriously if I have to listen to that junk, I will walk out of my own wedding. Ok- maybe that’s a bit dramatic, but if I can prevent a conga line from forming- that would make me incredibly happy.

So here is my wedding DJ criteria and if you know of any around the Buffalo area who fit the bill and are available on January 1, 2011- please feel free to send them my way!

DON’T (and yes I have personally witnessed every one of these things at a wedding in the past)

• Props. There is nothing worse than when a DJ gets on the dance floor with a fuzzy pimp hat or afro wig and dances with your guests to “Play that funky music white boy” while doing the ‘sprinkler.’ Or when he tries to strap a fake ankle restraint with a ball and chain on your new husband. It’s not funny and it’s not cute. Please leave the props at home and let the drunk groomsmen take care of the ‘running man’ and the ‘worm’- they are entertaining enough.
• Advertisements. I don’t want to look at a banner for “PHENOMENAL SOUNDS ENTERTAINMENT, LLC HIRE US FOR YOUR NEXT PARTY!!” across your booth or see that in my wedding pictures for many many years to come. If people like you, they’ll ask me and I’ll be glad to give them your number if you do a great job. Let your work speak for itself.
• Flirt with or try to hook up with any guests or members of the wedding party. It is not ok. Period.
• Drink or smoke. I’m paying for a few hours of your time. Please don’t partake in my open bar and try to leave the cigarettes in the car until the night is over.
• Have a video montage on your website to Kool and the Gang’s, “Celebration.” This should go without saying, but I saw this on 4 COUNT EM 4 websites for DJ’s alone in 1 day. There are hundreds of thousands of songs out there that can represent you and the weddings you’ve worked. I’ll say it again- originality.
• Bottom line- don’t be THIS guy.

DO (I know there are amazing DJ’s out there who do these things without thinking…

• Have a fabulous catalog of songs with a large mix of genres. Big band to contemporary. Let the couple give you some suggestions of their favorite stuff and work with them on a playlist that won’t make them or their guests cringe.
• Update your website. I can’t tell you how many awful sites I’ve seen which immediately leave a bad taste in my mouth. You don’t need a HUGE site with tons of bells and whistles. Give me some basic info, a contact number and email, and some of the services you offer. Keep it simple, keep it clean. and see my note about the video montage above. I beg you!!!
• Dress professionally. I don’t need you in a tux necessarily but a nice all black outfit is always appreciated.
• Be punctual with all aspects of planning and the big day. Prompt email responses, phone calls returned in a timely manner, and showing up on time every time, demonstrates that you are responsible and trustworthy to handle the huge task of running the night and helps ease the already stressed out bride.
• Be personable and fun. You can be just as fabulous of a DJ without props or the cheese factor. Your emcee skills, knowledge of music and reading the crowd should be enough to entertain a room of people. No disco balls needed.
• Maybe this cat can be my DJ… because he is awesome.

Ok randomness. So anyway, I think this is a pretty comprehensive list. I know there is a DJ like this out there somewhere! I know it, I have faith! I mean, am I asking too much? Honestly- am I nuts and totally off my rocker with my requests for a music provider? Feel free to add your thoughts to my list. Anything you’d add or subtract? What are your dos and don’ts for a DJ?

And if you’re as paranoid as I am, here is a great  list of questions to ask up front before it’s too late and your DJ busts out a rubber chicken while subjecting your guests to the third grade nonsense of the ‘chicken dance.’ Don’t say I didn’t warn you!

I’ve been going over the ever-daunting wedding checklist provided by TheKnot.com and I’m officially anxious. There is a LOT to do. We’ve been engaged for over a year and took this whole time to just chill and enjoy the time together. which has been pretty awesome actually but now that we’re under a year I’m beginning to panic.

Next weekend, Chris and I are driving home to Buffalo for our catering tasting, cake tasting/planning, and florist. Now if all these things work out then that’s some huge checks off on the list, however what if they don’t? I’m only in Buffalo for that weekend. Who knows when I can get in next. I still have to find an officiant, music (DJ or band!?!!), wedding gifts, hair and makeup trials and appointments, accessories, hotel blocks, transportation, invitations and every other piece of wedding stationary, finish our registry … the list goes on and on.

Being the slight control freak that I am, I feel the need to be a part of this planning in every step. I probably should have done more in this past year with my research. Found the vendors I wanted to use and then just put down deposits now. I wasn’t thinking!

From now on it’s wedding time. We’ve got 301 days to go- that’s 9 months and 25 days. I know that sounds like a lot but it’s not… especially when you’re planning a wedding in a location that’s 300 miles away.

Ok I’m gonna go freak out now. But not like this chick… because she’s just crazy.

I’m happy to say that my dress has finally come in. Well, I should say it finally came in for the second time. This wait was much worse than the first considering the disaster that unfolded the first time around- Manufacturing problems all over the place and so small I could barely zip it up. A serious blow to my self esteem. Anyway, the dress was shipped to my house and I sat and stared at the box for about an hour, scared to open it. Too much was riding on this dress. Will everything be fixed? Or was I going to have to go out hunting again for the perfect dress that I thought I already found? Ugh.
So I got up the courage to open the box. At first glance things looked ok. Certainly much better than before. Next step… put the dress on. Slowly step in. Zip up… pause. It fits. Holy crap it fits! (Pretty sure there was a chorus of angels singing in the background at this point.) I walked over to my mirror and started to scrutinize. Everything was better. I no longer looked like 10 lbs. of potatoes in a 5 lb. sack. I actually looked good. In fact, I looked damn good! The color and fabric is perfect. Definitely still need alterations like most wedding dresses, but it fits exactly the way a wedding dress should fit when you first put it on.
I’m so happy. I’m thrilled because this is absolutely, 100% my dress. I got those feelings again. Those feelings that make me so excited and anxious to walk down the aisle towards Chris in this dress. He’s going to love this dress. I’m going to feel beautiful wearing this dress. I’m marrying the love of my life in this dress.

A lot of people have been asking me- so how do I start planning? There’s so much to take in and where do I even start? Well here’s some sage advice from someone who’s been there, didn’t listen, and wishes she would have.

First thing is first- set your budget. This number will drive your entire wedding. Ask (politely) who can and will be able to contribute to your wedding. Will either your or your partner’s parents be able to help out or will you be funding everything on your own? Get as close to a solid number as you can from everyone who will be contributing. Once you have a set budget- don’t waver. Unless you come upon a large windfall of cash or find a long lost millionaire relative- stick with your budget. Budgets can be a nasty point of contention on your otherwise happy engagement especially if you start to get eyes for 14k gold edged place settings, Vera Wang dresses, and Rihanna as your wedding band. There are great budget calculators on WeddingWire.com and TheKnot.com where you can input your entire budget and break it out amongst all the different vendors. You can then customize them as needed. So that’s priority one- set the budget.

After you have a solid budget set- sit down with your fiance and make a list of 3 things that are the most important to the both of you on your wedding day. These are the areas where you are willing to splurge a little. For example, the must haves for Chris and me were venue, food, and photography. These were areas which were most important to us and we are willing to sacrifice in other areas to have better quality. These “deal-breakers” will help keep your budget in check but also allow for some leeway in what you feel is important and special. Make sure you and your fiance agree on your deal breakers. Maybe you each choose one and then decide on the third together. This ensures that you both are getting what’s most important to you on your wedding day.

Next decision you’ll have to make is when and where. Are you set on a specific date or a specific place? If the date of your wedding is most important then start searching for venues right away and put a deposit down as soon as you find one you love. If you’re more interested in the venue then do some research and take your time finding a great place. If you love a place that’s out of your budget, try asking out about off season dates. Friday and Sunday weddings are also a great way to save money but still keep your favorite place. Once you find a place you love, figure out the season you’d like to get married in and find what dates are available. I love our venue, so we chose a date in January, during the off season to save half the cost on the site fee.

Last big decision regards your style. Your venue can help influence this aspect of your wedding- indoor/outdoor, formal/casual, contemporary/vintage, etc. Do you have funky style or classic? Consult your fiance on this and come up with a plan about the type of affair this will be. His opinion is important and though he might not care about the tiny details like you do, he’ll probably want a small say about the style of the event.

Remember you’re getting married and compromise is going to be the newest and most frequent word used in your vocabulary. Compromise really starts with planning your wedding. Most people don’t have an endless budget so you’ll have to decide on what’s important and what’s not.

Either way, you’re getting married and that’s pretty awesome. And if all this is too much for you… just elope!

So now tell me- what are your 3 most important areas for your day?