I’m happy to say that my dress has finally come in. Well, I should say it finally came in for the second time. This wait was much worse than the first considering the disaster that unfolded the first time around- Manufacturing problems all over the place and so small I could barely zip it up. A serious blow to my self esteem. Anyway, the dress was shipped to my house and I sat and stared at the box for about an hour, scared to open it. Too much was riding on this dress. Will everything be fixed? Or was I going to have to go out hunting again for the perfect dress that I thought I already found? Ugh.
So I got up the courage to open the box. At first glance things looked ok. Certainly much better than before. Next step… put the dress on. Slowly step in. Zip up… pause. It fits. Holy crap it fits! (Pretty sure there was a chorus of angels singing in the background at this point.) I walked over to my mirror and started to scrutinize. Everything was better. I no longer looked like 10 lbs. of potatoes in a 5 lb. sack. I actually looked good. In fact, I looked damn good! The color and fabric is perfect. Definitely still need alterations like most wedding dresses, but it fits exactly the way a wedding dress should fit when you first put it on.
I’m so happy. I’m thrilled because this is absolutely, 100% my dress. I got those feelings again. Those feelings that make me so excited and anxious to walk down the aisle towards Chris in this dress. He’s going to love this dress. I’m going to feel beautiful wearing this dress. I’m marrying the love of my life in this dress.

With the holidays here, I want to make sure that the little commitment I made to myself a few months ago is still in the forefront of my mind. It’s easy to forget when those delicious pies and treats are staring you in the face. But I promised myself that I’d start working harder to get healthier. After many failed attempts at boring workout plans that drove me nuts, I’ve FINALLY found something that I truly love!! JAZZERCISE!!! It sounds cheesy but I love it and here’s why…

The workouts are hard but fun, the instructors are positive and motivating and the music is engaging and upbeat. Jazzercise is not the grandma aerobics that immediately comes to mind. There are no leg warmers, no sweatbands, and certainly no Olivia Newton John belting out “Let’s Get Physical.” Instead you listen to songs like Britney Spears, “Toxic” or Colbie Callait “Falling” and do workouts that include 40 minutes of cardio, some weight work for your arms, ab exercises, and stretching. The instructors will also show you modified moves for lower impact on your limbs. Especially great for my old gymnastics injuries that have taken their toll on my poor ankles and knees. The instructors are so encouraging and their positive feedback is exactly what I need to hear to keep pushing hard. The routines are repetitive and easy to pick up but not repetitive enough to get boring because they only last the length of the songs. Overall it’s just a great workout that you laugh through AND sweat your butt off.

If you’re like me and haven’t found any exercise you really enjoy doing, I recommend checking out the Jazzercise website and finding a location near you to give it a try. If you want to sign up, there’s a $20 coupon on the website to help with your sign up cost.

Wedding planning is stressful and exercise is the perfect way to beat that stress AND look fabulous in your dress. I can’t wait for my next class tonight!!

What kinds of exercise do you enjoy?

If you read yesterday’s post or were on Twitter over the weekend- you probably read my panic over my dress crisis. I was waiting to hear what could be done about all the problems…

Well…

Super good news!!! I have received a total confirmation from my bridal store that the manufacturer is taking responsibility for the dress construction problems. They will be making me an entirely new dress to remedy the horrible sewing and sizing issues!! Since this is however a massive blow to my ego (despite the fact that I have not gained weight nor inches since ordering my dress), I will be additionally stepping up my workouts and eating habits once again. I have been pretty good but I can definitely be more consistent and adhere better to my plan.

I’m very happy with this outcome and how Bridal and Formal handled the situation. I am so grateful for all their help. My dress will be here at the end of January or beginning of February. I’m totally fine with this because I’m not in any rush since our date is so far away still.

Thank you so much to everyone who said kind things and reassured me that it will all be ok. I really appreciate it. You have all seriously helped keep me sane.

I was so excited for my Mom to get here on Friday with my wedding dress. (No, not the Vera sadly.) It had been at my parent’s house in Buffalo for 2 weeks and I wouldn’t let my mom open the box until she was with me. Finally, I undid the tape and slowly lifted the beautiful fabric out of the many layers of plastic and wrapping. I held the gown up and looked at it. It was beautiful but something wasn’t right. I chalked it up to getting smooshed in a box for 2 weeks and convinced myself that all it needed was a good steaming and fluffing. I know I love my dress but I’ve been battling wedding dress second guessings for awhile… so I decided to put it on to show my Mom and also stifle my “something wrong” feeling.
Sadly, this stifled nothing… it merely confirmed my bad feelings. The dress didn’t fit. It was so tight in the bust I could barely breathe but so large in the hip that it was laying all wrong. Then I started to notice the poor construction all over the place. The dress wasn’t laying right not just because it was too big, but the top layer was sewn to the inside lining in random places all over. The bust line, which was one of the major selling points of the dress, was also completely messed up! The manufacturer actually sewed down parts that were supposed to be sticking up. My beautiful wedding dress was a total and complete disaster. It was so poorly made that it barely resembled the sample dress I tried on at the store back in April, that gave me happy visions of not just walking, but skipping down the aisle.

Insert mini breakdown here.

It’s things like this that make me want to just run away and elope. The good news is that the store is trying to help me. Throughout this whole process, they have been incredibly helpful and hopefully they can do something to remedy this situation. Due to the construction issues alone, they are trying to get the manufacturer to make me an entirely new dress. They are also trying to get it made in the next size up to accommodate my bust. I have not been given confirmation yet if this will all be possible… I’m waiting anxiously.

Lesson Learned: It’s never too early to buy your dress. I would advise all brides to start looking at dresses and styles immediately after getting engaged. Then as soon as you pick your date and venue, go buy your dress. This way you know everything will tie together in style AND assures that there’s plenty of time to fix any problems that might arise. I’ve heard much worse stories than mine where bridal salons go out of business, tailors hold dresses hostage, dresses getting destroyed, you name it. This way you take every precaution that you don’t end up dress-less on your big day.
Or worse…

I’ve always been self conscious about my weight.

Even in high school, when I weighed a whopping 117 lbs. I felt fat. I contribute this terrible body image mostly on growing up as a competition gymnast and the immense pressure to be a waif and partially on my parents constant focus on their own weights while I was a kid. I’m also highly susceptible to the celebrity stories and other media propaganda surrounding weight losses and gains. I’ve been hyper-aware of weight my whole life.

The problem is when I do gain a bit and don’t feel very good about myself, I get so down that I’m defeated before I even start to do anything about it. And then, I try to ignore it. I know I still look ok and therefore just try to forget about it until another 5lbs is gained. You have just been given a glimpse into the vicious cycle of a classic self defeatist.

I know I’m not alone and in that I take great comfort. But here’s where I need some help. With a wedding looming, I need to get healthier. I want the obvious bridal benefit of walking down that aisle feeling like my best and most beautiful self, but I also want the benefit of knowing that I am capable of breaking my terrible cycle. I think our wedding is the perfect time to start a whole new outlook on life. I’m making a commitment to Chris to be a loyal, kind, and faithful wife and I want to make an equal commitment to myself to be a better, healthier, and stronger person both mentally and physically. The help I need from my wonderful readers and friends is the encouragement to help me get through my self defeatism. This kind of stuff runs deep people- really deep. So I need all the help I can get.

I’m beginning my wedding commitment today with a long bike ride and following up with a walk with my dogs. I’ve also joined SparkPeople.com for some tips and camaraderie. Slowly, I will build up to the level I want to be but I don’t want to make any large goals for myself just yet. I’m too scared if I don’t accomplish my goal, I’ll feel like a failure. I’m a little too fragile for an actual failure at the moment, so I’m trying for a gradual, overall lifestyle change.

Please wish me luck and encouragement!!

For all you people who want to join me here are some great websites you can check out:

SparkPeople.com- get an account and you can join a community that will help you set goals and talk to others in your same situation. They also give you recipes and tips to keep on track. It’s an incredible source of information for people trying live healthier and/or lose some weight. It’s easy and everything you need is online. It’s also FREE!!

Weight Watchers- I’ve never done this myself but I’ve heard testimonies from others that swear by Weight Watchers. With the weigh ins and meetings, you find people who feel the same way and don’t look down on you for your weight. You can eat whatever you want while staying in your overall points value for the day. You pay for membership but from what I heard it’s well worth it.

Flat Belly Diet- Sounds like a fad but I’ve seen it work for my future mother in law. It’s a bit tougher to follow since it requires more specific foods to eat, but it does actually work. It’s not really a fad because it is about eating healthier foods such as unrefined, wholesome foods, vegetables, fruits, nuts, and whole grains. Pretty much the basis of all good diets. You can buy the book here.