I’m happy to say that my dress has finally come in. Well, I should say it finally came in for the second time. This wait was much worse than the first considering the disaster that unfolded the first time around- Manufacturing problems all over the place and so small I could barely zip it up. A serious blow to my self esteem. Anyway, the dress was shipped to my house and I sat and stared at the box for about an hour, scared to open it. Too much was riding on this dress. Will everything be fixed? Or was I going to have to go out hunting again for the perfect dress that I thought I already found? Ugh.
So I got up the courage to open the box. At first glance things looked ok. Certainly much better than before. Next step… put the dress on. Slowly step in. Zip up… pause. It fits. Holy crap it fits! (Pretty sure there was a chorus of angels singing in the background at this point.) I walked over to my mirror and started to scrutinize. Everything was better. I no longer looked like 10 lbs. of potatoes in a 5 lb. sack. I actually looked good. In fact, I looked damn good! The color and fabric is perfect. Definitely still need alterations like most wedding dresses, but it fits exactly the way a wedding dress should fit when you first put it on.
I’m so happy. I’m thrilled because this is absolutely, 100% my dress. I got those feelings again. Those feelings that make me so excited and anxious to walk down the aisle towards Chris in this dress. He’s going to love this dress. I’m going to feel beautiful wearing this dress. I’m marrying the love of my life in this dress.

As much as I actually dislike the holidays, I really love a great Christmas/New Year engagement story. I love the winter and fires, stockings and confetti, lots of champagne… etc. So for all you men out there hoping to propose to your girlfriend this Christmas, I wish you good luck! I also come to you offering some advice. Christmas is a great day for proposals but you have to remember how your girlfriend feels. For me, Christmas is generally filled with stress and anxiety-filled family messes… if this is the same for your girlfriend, maybe plan a quiet time with just the two of you, alone, special and totally romantic. Take the stress away by reminding her that you’ll always be there for her and that you love her more than anything. She’ll be so happy she won’t remember any anxiety surrounding the crazy holidays. If your girlfriend is really close with her family and relishes in some attention and holiday joy, maybe plan a proposal on Christmas morning surrounded by her family. She’ll be so thrilled that her whole family got to be in on your special moment and you’ll have a great story for your many years together.

Another helpful tip and this goes for all proposals… not just ones around the holidays: always ask the family power figure for their blessing before you pop the question. I’m a big fan of this tradition. It’s not so much asking “permission” anymore as it is a nice gesture that shows your respect for her family and your desire to become a part of it. Your sincerity will be welcomed and you will most likely earn major brownie points from her family. (Chris had to ask 2 sets of parents, since mine are divorced. He even let my mom wear my ring because she loved it so much! And then he put up with my stepfather asking him about 10 times if he was “sure about this”… jokingly, of course. haha!)

The way you propose will say a lot about how well you know her and it will be the story she will tell hundreds of people. It will be one of the best moments of your life. Put some thought into your plan. Think about a few key points you’d like to tell her when you’re down on one knee… but don’t stress about memorizing a long speech. It’s really not about how much you say- it’s how you say it. And though you’ll be nervous, try to relax as much as you can. You’re about to embark on the best adventure of your life with the person you love more than anything.

I wish you good luck, congratulations, and happy holidays!!

(photo courtesy of Jazzlolo [Lauren Kennedy Photography] on FlickR)

Nothing can end engagement bliss quite like discussing the wedding budget. Pretty much the only time Chris and I ever get angry with one another is when discussing where the wedding funds will be going. As my Twitter friend @mirnygirly so wisely pointed out “It’s only a problem if you don’t have enough.” And who really has “enough” cash these days? In this economy stretching your money is a talent and a necessity. But even pinching those pennies as small as you can still might not get you as much as you hoped.

Be careful not to let the budget overwhelm you. If you’re like me, you’re probably doing most of the planning yourself while only bugging the groom when his opinion is necessary. Try to sit down every few weeks and show your groom what you are doing. Show him where your funds are going. This way he can see where you’re cutting costs and together you can identify the areas where you want to scrimp or splurge. Make sure there is plenty of compromise and that your vision for your day is in alignment and that both of you are being realistic about the cost of everything and what you can actually spend.

When either of you starts to feel a minor heart attack coming on over costs, put down your computer and step away from your number crunching. Go do something fun together that takes your mind off of planning. Come back to it with clear minds in a day or so and decide what can be done then. You won’t get anywhere yelling at each other and you won’t be open to hearing what the other person has to say. Take a step back and make sure the wedding budget isn’t slowly ruining your relationship one deposit at a time.

Your day will be beautiful because you’re celebrating your commitment and love to one another and that’s the same whether you spend $10,000 or $100,000. When you think of it that way, you’ll start to realize how silly you’ve been over chair covers or soup vs. salad. You can also rest assured that you won’t have to file for bankruptcy (or divorce) the day after you return from your honeymoon.

Photo Courtesy of WeddingSource.com

If you read yesterday’s post or were on Twitter over the weekend- you probably read my panic over my dress crisis. I was waiting to hear what could be done about all the problems…

Well…

Super good news!!! I have received a total confirmation from my bridal store that the manufacturer is taking responsibility for the dress construction problems. They will be making me an entirely new dress to remedy the horrible sewing and sizing issues!! Since this is however a massive blow to my ego (despite the fact that I have not gained weight nor inches since ordering my dress), I will be additionally stepping up my workouts and eating habits once again. I have been pretty good but I can definitely be more consistent and adhere better to my plan.

I’m very happy with this outcome and how Bridal and Formal handled the situation. I am so grateful for all their help. My dress will be here at the end of January or beginning of February. I’m totally fine with this because I’m not in any rush since our date is so far away still.

Thank you so much to everyone who said kind things and reassured me that it will all be ok. I really appreciate it. You have all seriously helped keep me sane.

I was so excited for my Mom to get here on Friday with my wedding dress. (No, not the Vera sadly.) It had been at my parent’s house in Buffalo for 2 weeks and I wouldn’t let my mom open the box until she was with me. Finally, I undid the tape and slowly lifted the beautiful fabric out of the many layers of plastic and wrapping. I held the gown up and looked at it. It was beautiful but something wasn’t right. I chalked it up to getting smooshed in a box for 2 weeks and convinced myself that all it needed was a good steaming and fluffing. I know I love my dress but I’ve been battling wedding dress second guessings for awhile… so I decided to put it on to show my Mom and also stifle my “something wrong” feeling.
Sadly, this stifled nothing… it merely confirmed my bad feelings. The dress didn’t fit. It was so tight in the bust I could barely breathe but so large in the hip that it was laying all wrong. Then I started to notice the poor construction all over the place. The dress wasn’t laying right not just because it was too big, but the top layer was sewn to the inside lining in random places all over. The bust line, which was one of the major selling points of the dress, was also completely messed up! The manufacturer actually sewed down parts that were supposed to be sticking up. My beautiful wedding dress was a total and complete disaster. It was so poorly made that it barely resembled the sample dress I tried on at the store back in April, that gave me happy visions of not just walking, but skipping down the aisle.

Insert mini breakdown here.

It’s things like this that make me want to just run away and elope. The good news is that the store is trying to help me. Throughout this whole process, they have been incredibly helpful and hopefully they can do something to remedy this situation. Due to the construction issues alone, they are trying to get the manufacturer to make me an entirely new dress. They are also trying to get it made in the next size up to accommodate my bust. I have not been given confirmation yet if this will all be possible… I’m waiting anxiously.

Lesson Learned: It’s never too early to buy your dress. I would advise all brides to start looking at dresses and styles immediately after getting engaged. Then as soon as you pick your date and venue, go buy your dress. This way you know everything will tie together in style AND assures that there’s plenty of time to fix any problems that might arise. I’ve heard much worse stories than mine where bridal salons go out of business, tailors hold dresses hostage, dresses getting destroyed, you name it. This way you take every precaution that you don’t end up dress-less on your big day.
Or worse…