Chris and I don’t have all that much in common. We have similar minds, in that we think alike, but as for hobbies we are polar opposites. We both know it and sometimes it can take its toll on our relationship. I feel that separate hobbies are nice and even necessary to maintain some semblance of self and individualism in close relationships like marriage. But doing everything separate doesn’t always make for the easiest of paths because sometimes you want your partner to take part in the things you love.

For example, Chris loves motorcycles. Therefore, 2 years ago, when he moved to Columbus to be with me, he bought me my own hot pink and black sparkly motorcycle helmet so I can go on rides with him. I love wearing that helmet and it makes me excited to participate in one of his favorite hobbies. On the flip side, I love animals. Therefore, Chris bought me a second dog as a surprise for Christmas and puts up with the messes my pets make on a daily basis. But, sometimes these small interests in each other’s hobbies aren’t enough.

Recently we made a promise to each other to find the things that we both enjoy doing and make more time to do them together. One of the things we love to do the most is cook. Hence, our new ‘Cooking Sunday.’ Not a very creative name I know, but we have a blast. We base our meals on things we haven’t tried before, vegetables we’ve grown in our garden, ingredients we find at Farmer’s Markets, etc. We even ride bikes to the Farmer’s Market in town to find stuff. After a month, here is a short list of things we’ve made:

-Homemade pasta and sauce- tomatoes and veggies grown in garden
-Apple and Jalepeno jelly- the apples were picked at an orchard and the jalepenos grown in our garden
-Pesto made from basil grown in our garden
-Applesauce from our day at the orchard apple picking
-Roasted chicken with veggies and Caprese salad
-Zucchini bread for ourselves and all our neighbors
-Summer squash soup
I’m happy to give recipes if anyone is interested in trying any of this stuff. Everything we’ve made thus far has been completely delicious!

I’m also learning to love new things that I never would have done before. I love to go camping, which is something I never did until I met Chris. We also found we love to kayak and we’re hoping to buy our own in the next year. Rock climbing is also a fun activity to do together. If you’re feeling adventurous, try taking a weekend road trip together to somewhere you’ve never been.

It’s also nice to just go on dates together. A fun dinner or happy hour always puts me in a good mood. I feel proud to sit across from my fiance, share my thoughts with him, listen to what he has to say and spend time with him. Apple, berry, or pumpkin picking makes for a more relaxing and cute date. Wine tasting is another love of ours… gee I wonder why?

Doing these things have created a new playfulness to our relationship. Trying them together has brought us much closer. Even if the activity turns out to be lame, you bond because you can laugh about it afterwards. If it’s fun, then you have something new to spice up boring days.

What are some things you and your significant other like to do together? Try anything fun lately?

I’ve always been self conscious about my weight.

Even in high school, when I weighed a whopping 117 lbs. I felt fat. I contribute this terrible body image mostly on growing up as a competition gymnast and the immense pressure to be a waif and partially on my parents constant focus on their own weights while I was a kid. I’m also highly susceptible to the celebrity stories and other media propaganda surrounding weight losses and gains. I’ve been hyper-aware of weight my whole life.

The problem is when I do gain a bit and don’t feel very good about myself, I get so down that I’m defeated before I even start to do anything about it. And then, I try to ignore it. I know I still look ok and therefore just try to forget about it until another 5lbs is gained. You have just been given a glimpse into the vicious cycle of a classic self defeatist.

I know I’m not alone and in that I take great comfort. But here’s where I need some help. With a wedding looming, I need to get healthier. I want the obvious bridal benefit of walking down that aisle feeling like my best and most beautiful self, but I also want the benefit of knowing that I am capable of breaking my terrible cycle. I think our wedding is the perfect time to start a whole new outlook on life. I’m making a commitment to Chris to be a loyal, kind, and faithful wife and I want to make an equal commitment to myself to be a better, healthier, and stronger person both mentally and physically. The help I need from my wonderful readers and friends is the encouragement to help me get through my self defeatism. This kind of stuff runs deep people- really deep. So I need all the help I can get.

I’m beginning my wedding commitment today with a long bike ride and following up with a walk with my dogs. I’ve also joined SparkPeople.com for some tips and camaraderie. Slowly, I will build up to the level I want to be but I don’t want to make any large goals for myself just yet. I’m too scared if I don’t accomplish my goal, I’ll feel like a failure. I’m a little too fragile for an actual failure at the moment, so I’m trying for a gradual, overall lifestyle change.

Please wish me luck and encouragement!!

For all you people who want to join me here are some great websites you can check out:

SparkPeople.com- get an account and you can join a community that will help you set goals and talk to others in your same situation. They also give you recipes and tips to keep on track. It’s an incredible source of information for people trying live healthier and/or lose some weight. It’s easy and everything you need is online. It’s also FREE!!

Weight Watchers- I’ve never done this myself but I’ve heard testimonies from others that swear by Weight Watchers. With the weigh ins and meetings, you find people who feel the same way and don’t look down on you for your weight. You can eat whatever you want while staying in your overall points value for the day. You pay for membership but from what I heard it’s well worth it.

Flat Belly Diet- Sounds like a fad but I’ve seen it work for my future mother in law. It’s a bit tougher to follow since it requires more specific foods to eat, but it does actually work. It’s not really a fad because it is about eating healthier foods such as unrefined, wholesome foods, vegetables, fruits, nuts, and whole grains. Pretty much the basis of all good diets. You can buy the book here.

Finally!

I can announce our official date!! Christopher and I will be tying the knot on January 1, 2011 or 1.1.11. Neat, huh? Though we had been planning on New Year’s Eve, we fell in love with a venue in which the date was already taken. However, by having our date set in January as opposed to December- by only 1 day later- we saved significantly on our site fee. A tip I recommend to everyone. On season prices and off season prices at certain venues can make all the difference in your budget. And we got lucky in that January 1st is still a Saturday! It also works with most all of our family members, of which I will spare you of hearing all the drama.

Here is our venue! It’s called Asbury Hall and from the moment I walked in I was blown away. You can take a little 360* tour of our ground floor. Make sure to click on the buttons on the top right and see how they transform it for a wedding reception. It’s an old church owned by Ani DiFranco and was renovated to be used for receptions, concerts, and private parties. Our whole event including ceremony, cocktails and reception will be held there. Their are pews in the upper areas on the sides and that is where our guests will sit. They will look down at us as we recite our vows on the main floor in front of the stage. We will then go into our cocktail hour in the basement which has natural beautiful stone and dark wood bar. It’s everything I wanted in a venue. I will walk directly down the center of the amazing wood floors to my awaiting groom. *little squeal of excitement*

Finally having a date, after 6 months of being engaged, makes everything seem more real. At times I never thought we’d actually set a date because I’ve been so back and forth on what I wanted, but now we can move forward and really dive into planning. I have a feeling that even though 1.1.11 is still a year and a half away, it’s going to fly by and be here before we know it.

I can’t wait.

I suck at being on time. Ever since the move, my commute has more than doubled. Any normal person would probably then make sure they get in their car an extra twenty minutes to make up for that extra bit. But not this punctuality challenged twenty-something. Well that’s not exactly true. I try. I really do. But no matter what I do, I can’t seem to get my ass in gear. I get up early enough- it’s not the sleep that I need. I’m the oldest young person you’ll ever know crawling her ass into bed at 9:30. I get up and have some breakfast, a cup of coffee and turn on the TV. No, I’m not filling my morning with the News about the ever shit-canned economy and job losses or the serial rapist who’s torturing young women all around Columbus- I don’t like to start my morning with things that make me want to cry. Instead, I turn on some trashy reality TV that makes Boyfriend cringe with disgust but makes me feel a little happier when I can say, “well no matter how bad things get for me, at least I’m not some washed up porn star trying her hand at “Charm School” and the only claim to fame I have is trying to screw a washed up 80′s hair band member who’s double my age” or “Wow Spencer is such an asshole, why is Heidi still with him??!! Why is Audrina still talking to them?? The world would be a better place if that cast of tramps just got hit by a bus.” Actually, now that I think about it I’m not sure if that last one makes me feel happier or sadder about my life that I care… food for thought, I guess? 

Anyway, herein lies the problem. I can’t turn it off. Once I start a show- I can’t get up until it’s over. I slowly wake up to this junk, I drink my coffee, and then ever so slowly I drag my ass to the shower. The rest of my morning is a blur of me running around as fast as I can while simultaneously debating whether I want to go the day without wearing makeup or if I’d rather go to work with wet hair. Oh, I might also mention that I do this with reruns of Saved by the Bell playing in the background. Yes, I’m serious. 

Then, as it always happens- when you’re already slightly behind schedule, everything else decides to fuck with you as much as possible. Your dog decides to piss on the carpet after you’ve already taken her out twice and she just stared at you. You get stuck behind a bus full of special needs kids. That barely running train decides to barrel through. The senior citizen in front of you slams on their brakes at every hint of a yellow light. And then of course- BOOM you’re officially charging to your desk 20 minutes late in heels that are NOT inconspicuous, trying to avoid your boss who is getting coffee in the cafe which is conveniently located 15 feet from your desk, turning on your computer and booting up your email to pretend like you’ve been there all morning and secretly rubbing your sprained ankle that you maintained while tripping up the stairs on your rhinoceros-like stampede into the office. 

Here Mr. Senior VP- let me mark that review sheet for you… the punctuality category… hmm… is there a box for “sucks?” Or maybe I should just cancel my DVR service?. (Today is the day that I wish I had Dingo-like photoshop capabilities because this post would make for a classic pic… maybe she’ll take a break from thesis writing and make one for me! haha!)

What do you do when you feel like you’re forced into competition with someone that you have zero interest in competing with? I’ll tell you what I do- I get pissed and then I realize that it’s completely not worth my energy and then I say fuck it. Why would I want to bother trying to scamper to the cheese that I’m being baited with? I’m being tested on purpose and I don’t like it. 

I do want to prove myself. But I don’t want to feel like I have to fight for it. I feel like there’s always a fight and it’s exhausting. If that’s how you get ahead then I don’t know how much I want it anymore. 

So is it healthy competition or do I just say fuck it? Personally I’m leaning towards the latter as I start to notice a theme…