So I have spoken of my love for anemones as wedding flowers. I love the white ones with large black centers. I think they are totally elegant and striking. However, being that my wedding is in Buffalo, NY, we have a problem with anemones. Though everything I’ve read says that anemones are in season November-April (perfect for my January 1 date) apparently this isn’t always the case depending on your location.

Now everything can be done for a price… so if I wanted to spend a small fortune to have white anemones grown specifically for me in Holland and then shipped to Buffalo… well then I could probably have my anemones. Sadly- I do not have a small fortune to spend. When using only one kind of flower, you also run the risk of something bad happening to the batch and then you’re stuck with no alternatives. It’s a risk that I don’t think I’m willing to take.

This is why I’m very happy I have a back up flower choice. It’s called a glamelia. I found it while reading about celebrity weddings and learned that Katherine Heigl had glamelias for her flowers. A glamelia isn’t actually a type of flower- it’s more of a technique. You start with one flower such as a rose and then you take individual petals and slowly sew them together build them around the original flower. You eventually get the effect of one huge single flower which looks something that looks like this-

Stunning, no? I’m thinking of doing them all white with touches of hopefully black petals randomly placed throughout the large flower. For my bridesmaids, they would just get an all white smaller version. I love things that are just slightly off the beaten path. Something that not everyone has seen before. This huge flower could be the wow that I’ve been looking for.

Depending on the type of flower you start out with, you’ll need one with pretty sturdy, meaty petals, but this can be relatively inexpensive because the florist doesn’t need thousands of flowers. I’ve gotten quotes for $60-100 per bouquet. There are a lot of factors that can go into pricing such as type of flower and size of the glamelia, etc. So call your local florist for an estimate. I also recommend bringing pictures.

A lot of people have been asking me- so how do I start planning? There’s so much to take in and where do I even start? Well here’s some sage advice from someone who’s been there, didn’t listen, and wishes she would have.

First thing is first- set your budget. This number will drive your entire wedding. Ask (politely) who can and will be able to contribute to your wedding. Will either your or your partner’s parents be able to help out or will you be funding everything on your own? Get as close to a solid number as you can from everyone who will be contributing. Once you have a set budget- don’t waver. Unless you come upon a large windfall of cash or find a long lost millionaire relative- stick with your budget. Budgets can be a nasty point of contention on your otherwise happy engagement especially if you start to get eyes for 14k gold edged place settings, Vera Wang dresses, and Rihanna as your wedding band. There are great budget calculators on WeddingWire.com and TheKnot.com where you can input your entire budget and break it out amongst all the different vendors. You can then customize them as needed. So that’s priority one- set the budget.

After you have a solid budget set- sit down with your fiance and make a list of 3 things that are the most important to the both of you on your wedding day. These are the areas where you are willing to splurge a little. For example, the must haves for Chris and me were venue, food, and photography. These were areas which were most important to us and we are willing to sacrifice in other areas to have better quality. These “deal-breakers” will help keep your budget in check but also allow for some leeway in what you feel is important and special. Make sure you and your fiance agree on your deal breakers. Maybe you each choose one and then decide on the third together. This ensures that you both are getting what’s most important to you on your wedding day.

Next decision you’ll have to make is when and where. Are you set on a specific date or a specific place? If the date of your wedding is most important then start searching for venues right away and put a deposit down as soon as you find one you love. If you’re more interested in the venue then do some research and take your time finding a great place. If you love a place that’s out of your budget, try asking out about off season dates. Friday and Sunday weddings are also a great way to save money but still keep your favorite place. Once you find a place you love, figure out the season you’d like to get married in and find what dates are available. I love our venue, so we chose a date in January, during the off season to save half the cost on the site fee.

Last big decision regards your style. Your venue can help influence this aspect of your wedding- indoor/outdoor, formal/casual, contemporary/vintage, etc. Do you have funky style or classic? Consult your fiance on this and come up with a plan about the type of affair this will be. His opinion is important and though he might not care about the tiny details like you do, he’ll probably want a small say about the style of the event.

Remember you’re getting married and compromise is going to be the newest and most frequent word used in your vocabulary. Compromise really starts with planning your wedding. Most people don’t have an endless budget so you’ll have to decide on what’s important and what’s not.

Either way, you’re getting married and that’s pretty awesome. And if all this is too much for you… just elope!

So now tell me- what are your 3 most important areas for your day?

1 year from today, I will marry the love of my life. I can’t believe how lucky I am.

As much as I actually dislike the holidays, I really love a great Christmas/New Year engagement story. I love the winter and fires, stockings and confetti, lots of champagne… etc. So for all you men out there hoping to propose to your girlfriend this Christmas, I wish you good luck! I also come to you offering some advice. Christmas is a great day for proposals but you have to remember how your girlfriend feels. For me, Christmas is generally filled with stress and anxiety-filled family messes… if this is the same for your girlfriend, maybe plan a quiet time with just the two of you, alone, special and totally romantic. Take the stress away by reminding her that you’ll always be there for her and that you love her more than anything. She’ll be so happy she won’t remember any anxiety surrounding the crazy holidays. If your girlfriend is really close with her family and relishes in some attention and holiday joy, maybe plan a proposal on Christmas morning surrounded by her family. She’ll be so thrilled that her whole family got to be in on your special moment and you’ll have a great story for your many years together.

Another helpful tip and this goes for all proposals… not just ones around the holidays: always ask the family power figure for their blessing before you pop the question. I’m a big fan of this tradition. It’s not so much asking “permission” anymore as it is a nice gesture that shows your respect for her family and your desire to become a part of it. Your sincerity will be welcomed and you will most likely earn major brownie points from her family. (Chris had to ask 2 sets of parents, since mine are divorced. He even let my mom wear my ring because she loved it so much! And then he put up with my stepfather asking him about 10 times if he was “sure about this”… jokingly, of course. haha!)

The way you propose will say a lot about how well you know her and it will be the story she will tell hundreds of people. It will be one of the best moments of your life. Put some thought into your plan. Think about a few key points you’d like to tell her when you’re down on one knee… but don’t stress about memorizing a long speech. It’s really not about how much you say- it’s how you say it. And though you’ll be nervous, try to relax as much as you can. You’re about to embark on the best adventure of your life with the person you love more than anything.

I wish you good luck, congratulations, and happy holidays!!

(photo courtesy of Jazzlolo [Lauren Kennedy Photography] on FlickR)

I have spent a lot of time thinking about favors for our wedding that would be fun and different for our guests. Normally guests just write off the favors because they are a bit boring and typical. However your wedding favors can be one of those little details that, if thoughtfully done, can add a little wow element to your day. To get that “wow” try one of these ideas and really THANK your guests-

Flower bulbs- Great for a spring, summer, or fall wedding, flower bulbs can be bought in bulk at incredibly inexpensive prices. (Tulip bulbs can be as cheap as 10 cents or less) They add a fabulous green element to your day and give your guests a burst of color for their gardens, reminding them every year of your beautiful day. If you want to get really crafty, buy the bulbs in your wedding colors. Wrap them in tulle with a cute little poem about your blooming love. Slightly cheesy but it’s a wedding so a bit of cheese is totally acceptable. You can go to any local nursery to find an array of bulbs.

These favors can also double as placecard holders for your guests!

Potted Herbs- Another green idea, if you and your hubby to be are really into cooking or things that smell nice, a small potted herb at each setting can be a lovely touch. You can pick different herbs and label them so that your guests swap if they want. Herbs are also great because they can be planted outside or kept in the pot. These can also be bought in bulk from local farms, grocery stores, or if you’re feeling really ambitious and have the time, you can grow the herbs yourself and re-pot them saving yourself a lot of money.

Wine- This was one of the ideas that Chris and I considered since we got engaged in Napa. There is a wine-making place about 20 minutes from our house. Chose your favorite wine (or 2… or 3…) after a tasting, of course. The owners will then teach you how to make your wine of choice on the premises and since the process takes a few weeks, you stop back at the crucial times to help. Then at the end, you can bottle the wine in half bottles (half the size of normal wine bottles) which helps to stretch your batch. You can then create personalized labels. It’s fun, it’s unique, it’s something you and your fiance can do together, and it’s a definite wow for your guests when they realized you did everything but stomp the grapes!

Cheers to the Bride and Groom!

Local Products- Depending on where your wedding is, there is a plethora of local products your guests would be thrilled to have considering their usefulness. Being from Buffalo, a fun idea might be chicken wing sauce from the Anchor Bar. If you’re from Texas, how about some BBQ sauce? Columbus, OH- buckeyes top the list- which you can buy OR make. There are so many options from expensive to incredibly budget conscious.

Handmade Gifts- Soaps, chocolates, ornaments, sock monkeys, picture frames, candles. Maybe someone in your family owns their own business making specific items? Use these people! They will likely give you a great discount and most likely will be happy to help. It’s even better if you can make it yourself! Personalized gifts are a favorite of guests. Whatever your theme or time of year, you can find a personal homemade favor to go with it. Guests love things that they can tell have meaning to the bride and groom and in which thought was given.

Who Needs Favors?- Though it’s always nice to thank your guests, a new trend is emerging where brides and grooms are forgoing the favors altogether and opting for something less traditional. Try adding a signature cocktail to your bar menu for your guests to enjoy. Or maybe a hot chocolate, coffee, and cordials bar at the end of the night. Make your own ice cream sundaes? Or my personal favorite- a photo booth in which each guests can get their picture taken in that 4 picture strip style and keep one of the sets for themselves and put the other copy in a keepsake book sitting next to the booth for you.

Donate to a Charity- This is what we will be doing for our wedding. I have a deep love for animals and I thought there could be nothing better than giving to the SPCA or Humane Society. Writing a kind note to the guests to tell them you have donated in their honor to the charity of your choice is a wonderful and heartwarming gesture. Great ideas can be anything that you believe in or has touched you in life- Susan G. Komen breast cancer charity, Hospice providers, nursing homes, animal charities, local food kitchens, education funds, AIDS research, etc. Opportunities are endless and you can start your marriage off with a kind gift to people or animals in need.

Please leave other ideas you have for favors! This is a great area where you can get creative with your wedding and give ideas to other brides to be in attendance no matter what your budget may be. Be the one to step away from the jordan almonds and do something really special to celebrate your special day with your family and friends.